The Family Firm
A Data-Driven Guide to Better Decision Making in the Early School Years
(Sprache: Englisch)
The instant New York Times bestseller A Behavioral Scientist Notable Book of 2021
Emily Oster dives into the data on parenting issues, cuts through the clutter, and gives families the bottom line to help them make better decisions....
Emily Oster dives into the data on parenting issues, cuts through the clutter, and gives families the bottom line to help them make better decisions....
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The instant New York Times bestseller A Behavioral Scientist Notable Book of 2021Emily Oster dives into the data on parenting issues, cuts through the clutter, and gives families the bottom line to help them make better decisions. Good Morning America
From the bestselling author of Expecting Better and Cribsheet, the next step in data driven parenting from economist Emily Oster.
In The Family Firm, Brown professor of economics and mom of two Emily Oster offers a classic business school framework for data-driven parents to think more deliberately about the key issues of the elementary years: school, health, extracurricular activities, and more.
Unlike the hourly challenges of infant parenting, the big questions in this age come up less frequently. But we live with the consequences of our decisions for much longer. What's the right kind of school and at what age should a particular kid start? How do you encourage a healthy diet? Should kids play a sport and how seriously? How do you think smartly about encouraging children's independence? Along with these bigger questions, Oster investigates how to navigate the complexity of day-to-day family logistics.
Making these decisions is less about finding the specific answer and more about taking the right approach. Parents of this age are often still working in baby mode, which is to say, under stress and on the fly. That is a classic management problem, and Oster takes a page from her time as a business school professor at the University of Chicago to show us that thoughtful business process can help smooth out tough family decisions.
The Family Firm is a smart and winning guide to how to think clearly--and with less ambient stress--about the key decisions of the elementary school years.
Parenting is a full-time job. It's time we start treating it like one.
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1Creating the "Big Picture"
In his book on families, Stephen Covey, of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People fame, argues that your family needs a "mission statement." This is a grounding document to highlight your central family values. It's not dissimilar to the mission statement a firm might have. Your central family values may be religious or articulate a family-first focus. They might say something like "Prioritize family time and raise thoughtful kids." Maybe your mission articulates a particular approach to child independence (i.e., are you a free-range parent, or more of a helicopter type?).
You should have such a mission statement! But I'm going to suggest going beyond that and directly addressing the interaction between these broad priorities and concrete decisions. When I talk about creating the family Big Picture, I'm talking about these overall principles, but I'm also talking about confronting "What does Thursday night look like?"
There's a parallel to firms. The statement "Create a great search engine and don't be evil" is perhaps a good mission statement for Google, but it's not a recipe for how to run the firm. Just as "Prioritize family time and raise thoughtful kids" may be a good broad mission, but it doesn't tell you the right bedtime.
These logistical details matter, because if you fail to think about the logistics holistically, you could find yourself almost accidentally in a very different place than you imagined. Each individual choice may seem inconsequential in the moment, but they add up.
Think, for example, about birthdays. Imagine you have three kids, all in school, in classes of twenty kids each. And imagine that each kid in each class has a birthday party. That is sixty birthday parties a year. When each Evite rolls in, you think, "Oh, okay, it's just one birthday party." But by the end of the year, you've spent literally every weekend at Sky Zone, Jump For Fun, Kidz Kastle,
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or, my personal favorite, Dave & Buster's.
At some point you may think, "Enough is enough," and put the kibosh on attending any more parties that year. But then it's your middle daughter's best friend's birthday and she absolutely has to go. So that's another weekend down.
In economics parlance, your sequential birthday approach means you're making each invite decision "on the margin." But while adding each marginal birthday has a small effect, the aggregate may be, quite simply, not acceptable.
In the grand scheme of things, birthday parties are a minor issue. But this kind of slippery-slope experience can pervade our parenting decisions. You let in one late-night extracurricular, then another, and pretty soon your image of dinner as a family at six every night has vanished. And if this dinner is a priority for you, that's a problem.
It shouldn't escape our notice that failing to articulate these priorities is a recipe for conflict in cases where there are multiple decision makers (say, two parents) in the household. Let's say bedtime by 8:30 is a key priority for me, and I've worked out the family schedule so it happens every night that I'm around. Now imagine that I'm out of town for work and I call my partner at 10 p.m. to learn that the older child is still up, watching The Great British Baking Show.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" I yell through the phone.
"This is your rule, not mine," comes the retort. "You want it done your way? Don't leave town."
What is the problem here? Perhaps many things, but at least one is failing to get on the same page about bedtime as a priority. If you have two (or more!) parents involved in raising a child, they'll inevitably parent at least slightly differently. My husband, for example, adheres much less stringently to the every-other-day bath system than I do. When he's in charge, baths tend to be a little less frequent. And this is okay, because although I have a particular bath system, it'
At some point you may think, "Enough is enough," and put the kibosh on attending any more parties that year. But then it's your middle daughter's best friend's birthday and she absolutely has to go. So that's another weekend down.
In economics parlance, your sequential birthday approach means you're making each invite decision "on the margin." But while adding each marginal birthday has a small effect, the aggregate may be, quite simply, not acceptable.
In the grand scheme of things, birthday parties are a minor issue. But this kind of slippery-slope experience can pervade our parenting decisions. You let in one late-night extracurricular, then another, and pretty soon your image of dinner as a family at six every night has vanished. And if this dinner is a priority for you, that's a problem.
It shouldn't escape our notice that failing to articulate these priorities is a recipe for conflict in cases where there are multiple decision makers (say, two parents) in the household. Let's say bedtime by 8:30 is a key priority for me, and I've worked out the family schedule so it happens every night that I'm around. Now imagine that I'm out of town for work and I call my partner at 10 p.m. to learn that the older child is still up, watching The Great British Baking Show.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" I yell through the phone.
"This is your rule, not mine," comes the retort. "You want it done your way? Don't leave town."
What is the problem here? Perhaps many things, but at least one is failing to get on the same page about bedtime as a priority. If you have two (or more!) parents involved in raising a child, they'll inevitably parent at least slightly differently. My husband, for example, adheres much less stringently to the every-other-day bath system than I do. When he's in charge, baths tend to be a little less frequent. And this is okay, because although I have a particular bath system, it'
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Autoren-Porträt von Emily Oster
Emily Oster
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Emily Oster
- 2022, 320 Seiten, Maße: 13,6 x 21 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: PENGUIN BOOKS
- ISBN-10: 1984881779
- ISBN-13: 9781984881779
- Erscheinungsdatum: 28.07.2022
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
A targeted mini-MBA program designed to help moms and dads establish best practices for day-to-day operations . . . Because this is an Oster book, there s data scattered everywhere on the development of reading skills by age, on the concussion risks of playing soccer, on the benefits of dipping Brussels sprouts in sweetened cream cheese. It s all presented in the breezy, skeptical style that s made Oster s work a must-read for parents who don t have the time to investigate Finnish studies about integrating extracurriculars into the school day. The Washington PostEmily Oster dives into the data on parenting issues, cuts through the clutter, and gives families the bottom line to help them make better decisions. Her books on pregnancy and toddlers skyrocketed her to parenting-world fame, and now she s back, crunching the numbers on topics that keep parents with school-age kids up at night. Good Morning America
Oster is a self-described data nerd, a delightful contrarian who dared question the status quo, shush the shamers and tell parents what made sense. The New York Times Book Review
Oster draws on her experience as a business school professor to suggest that economic reasoning the art of making decision-making given constraints can tell us a lot about how to make some of these hard decisions a little better. . . . Some careful, economics-inspired thinking can help reduce the anxiety, tension, and stress. . . . For that alone, The Family Firm is worth picking up. Charles Fain Lehman, The Washington Free Beacon
With Oster's help, rather than fear this next stage of parenting, readers can embrace (and even enjoy) the challenge. Booklist
Oster offers a plethora of rational guidance for parents of kids between pre-K and middle school in this eminently practical guide. Publishers Weekly
A guide . . . to chart a child s path with less stress and more optimization for healthy
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habits and future success. TIME
Merging a business approach with her trademark empowering voice, Emily dispenses the stress-less advice you actually want. Audrey Goodson Kingo, Working Mother
Oster's prose flows well (as usual) lightly sprinkled with the dry wit that suffuses her other books. Salon
Adds simplicity and reassurance to many age-old parenting debates. Jennifer Ashton Ryan, Pasadena
Praise for Cribsheet and Expecting Better:
A revelation for curious mothers-to-be. New York Times
Emily Oster is the non-judgmental girlfriend holding our hand and guiding us through pregnancy and motherhood. She has done the work to get us the hard facts in a soft, understandable way. Amy Schumer
Gives moms-to-be a big helping of peace of mind! Harvey Karp M.D., bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block
It took someone as smart as Emily Oster to make it all this simple. She cuts through the thicket of anxiety and received wisdom, and gives us the facts. Expecting Better is both enlightening and calming. It almost makes me want to get pregnant. Pamela Druckerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bringing Up Bébé and Bébé Day by Day
Parenting can be fraught. Cribsheet aims to help parents do better. The Economist
Both refreshing and useful. LA Times
The book is jampacked with information, but it's also a delightful read because Oster is such a good writer. NPR
A huge relief . . . freeing. The Washington Post
In my household, [Emily Oster] is the all-knowing Aunt we have never met. Parenting would be a lot more stressful without these books. Adam Ozimek, Forbes
Merging a business approach with her trademark empowering voice, Emily dispenses the stress-less advice you actually want. Audrey Goodson Kingo, Working Mother
Oster's prose flows well (as usual) lightly sprinkled with the dry wit that suffuses her other books. Salon
Adds simplicity and reassurance to many age-old parenting debates. Jennifer Ashton Ryan, Pasadena
Praise for Cribsheet and Expecting Better:
A revelation for curious mothers-to-be. New York Times
Emily Oster is the non-judgmental girlfriend holding our hand and guiding us through pregnancy and motherhood. She has done the work to get us the hard facts in a soft, understandable way. Amy Schumer
Gives moms-to-be a big helping of peace of mind! Harvey Karp M.D., bestselling author of The Happiest Baby on the Block
It took someone as smart as Emily Oster to make it all this simple. She cuts through the thicket of anxiety and received wisdom, and gives us the facts. Expecting Better is both enlightening and calming. It almost makes me want to get pregnant. Pamela Druckerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bringing Up Bébé and Bébé Day by Day
Parenting can be fraught. Cribsheet aims to help parents do better. The Economist
Both refreshing and useful. LA Times
The book is jampacked with information, but it's also a delightful read because Oster is such a good writer. NPR
A huge relief . . . freeing. The Washington Post
In my household, [Emily Oster] is the all-knowing Aunt we have never met. Parenting would be a lot more stressful without these books. Adam Ozimek, Forbes
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