The Kiss Quotient

***This excerpt is from an advance uncorrected copy proof*** Copyright © 2018 Helen Hoang



Chapter 1

I know you hate surprises, Stella. In the interests of communicating our expectations and providing you a reasonable timeline, you should know we re ready for grandchildren.

Stella Lane s gaze jumped from her breakfast up to her mother s gracefully aging face. A subtle application of makeup drew attention to battle-ready, coffee-colored eyes. That boded ill for Stella. When her mother got something into her mind, she was like a honey badger with a vendetta pugnacious and tenacious, but without the snarling and fur.

I ll keep that in mind, Stella said.

Shock gave way to rapid-fire, panic-scrambled thoughts. Grandchildren meant babies. And diapers. Mountains of diapers. Exploding diapers. And babies cried, soul-grating banshee wails that even the best sound-canceling headphones couldn t buffer. How did they cry so long and hard when they were so little? Plus, babies meant husbands. Husbands meant boyfriends. Boyfriends meant dating. Dating meant sex. She shuddered.

You re thirty, Stella dear. We re concerned that you re still single. Have you tried Tinder?

She grabbed her water and gulped down a mouthful, accidentally swallowing an ice cube. After clearing her throat, she said, No. I haven t tried it.

The very thought of Tinder and the corresponding dating it aimed to deliver caused her to break out in a sweat. She hated everything about dating: the departure from her comfortable routine, the conversation that was by turns inane and baffling, and again, the sex . . .

I ve been offered a promotion, she said, hoping it would distract her mother.

Another one? her father asked, lowering his copy of the Wall Street Journal so his wire-framed glasses were visible. You were just promoted two quarters ago. That s phenomenal.

Stella perked up and scooted

Helen Hoang is that shy person who never talks. Until she does. And the worst things fly out of her mouth. She read her first romance novel in eighth grade and has been addicted ever since. In 2016, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in line with what was previously known as Asperger's syndrome. Her journey inspired The Kiss Quotient. She currently lives in San Diego, California, with her husband, two kids, and pet fish.

Praise for The Kiss Quotient

Hoang s witty debut proves that feelings are greater than numbers, no matter how you add things up. People Magazine

With a deft hand, Hoang crafts an honest and thoughtful look at the challenges Stella s neuroatypicality poses while never losing sight of who Stella is as an individual, especially as her relationship with Michael evolves into something far beyond the scientific. Harper s Bazaar

Helen Hoang s The Kiss Quotient is an absolute delight charming, sexy, and centered on a protagonist you love rooting for. Buzzfeed

Hoang writes Stella with insight and empathy. The New York Times Book Review

Hoang does an amazing job of crafting a vividly romantic tale filled with depth, humor and a universal sense of humanity. Emily Giffin, New York Times bestselling author

In just under 24 hours I devoured The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang and it was AWESOME. Adorable, sexy, smart. Exactly the book I wanted to read! Christina Lauren, New York Times bestselling author 

Clever, sexy and a breath of fresh air! The Kiss Quotient is intoxicatingly witty and romantic! Lauren Blakely, New York Times bestselling author

I devoured The Kiss Quotient.  It s one of the best books I ve read in a very long time. It has everything it s funny, sad, poignant and impossible to put down. Christine Feehan, New York Times bestselling author
 
The Kiss Quotient is unexpected, unconventional and unputdownable. I loved it. Hoang s writing has a sharp, quirky, emotional edge that will resonate with anyone who has ever tried to navigate the complicated world of modern relationships.  Opening this book is like setting a match to a handful of fireworks lots of sparkle, heat and energy. Jayne Ann Krentz, New York Times bestselling author  

The Kiss Quotient had me under a spell the moment I met the hero. I was excited, in love, and couldn t wait to get back to this book every