Introverts in Love

Introduction

Love is complicated. It is both universal and highly individual. In a way, nobody is an expert on love, and in a way, everybody is. Love is the same for all of us; it must be, or songs about love wouldn t twang such universal chords. But it s also different how often have you looked at a couple and wondered how they could possibly stay together?

Introversion and extroversion are only two small facets of all that makes us who we are. Each of us is a rich and complex slumgullion of traits and quirks, nature and nurture, hopes and dreams and irritating habits. And, of course, the most basic rules for relationship success are the same for introverts, extroverts, and everyone in between: Communication, compromise, respect. Same with things that lead to relationship failure. The details may change but the general principles are the same for everyone.

So if we know that, why a book just for and about introverts and love?

Well, for one thing, being an introvert can seem at odds with seeking and finding love. We just don t put ourselves out there as much as extroverts; and even when we do, we aren t as quick to make friends of strangers.

I don t meet as many people as my friends because I generally prefer to stay home and delve into something really stimulating, like reading or video games, says Taylor, a 27-year-old single writer and an introvert. I also don t tend to mingle too well with people at parties. I do better with friends there with me, and I can turn it on and talk to just about anyone without awkwardness, but I often don t.

Not only that, but when introverts meet someone who sparks their interest, they often are uncomfortable making the first move of any kind. Ray-Mel, a 60-year-old artist and an introvert, says that he was so crushed the times he stepped out of his comfort zone and pursued someone only to be turned down, he decided it wasn t worth the risk. After a while I

Sophia Dembling is the author of The Introvert s Way and is a prolific blogger at Psychology Today (The Introvert s Corner) and PsychCentral.com (Real World Research), among others. She has won two Lowell Thomas gold medals for her travel writing. She lives in Dallas, Texas.

This book is for anyone who has ever wrestled with the conflict between the wish to stay home and the desire to go out and find a partner a book about the human capacity for love.
Susan Cain, author of the New York Times bestseller Quiet

A terrific, affirming treatise on the many gifts an introvert brings to a relationship and how best to let them glow.
Library Journal

Dembling (The Introvert s Way) tackles the pitfalls of dating and relationships for the introspective and sometimes socially awkward. With introversion reaching buzzword status, this book may attract an audience.
Publishers Weekly


Praise for The Introvert's Way

In this thought-provoking treatise on the quieter types, Dembling, the blogger behind Psychology Today s The Introvert s Corner, proposes a wholesale rethinking of what it means to be an introvert . Dembling s account is refreshingly candid and straightforward I am an introvert, she writes, And there s not a damn thing wrong with me.
Publishers Weekly
 
Unlike Quiet, it not only provides scientific and cultural background but also practical tips and a thorough-note of complete understanding of the introvert s nature. An introvert myself, I have never read a book that I have so truly felt myself in.  
- Psych Central
 
Dembling urges introverts to embrace their need for solitude, reflection, and regeneration with no apologies. It's what makes us who we are.
Cleveland Plain Dealer