Chamber Film Reviews: Movie Reviews to Annoy and Infuriate 2012 (Chamber Film Reviews, #2) (ePub)

This is a collection of film reviews. A sample:

Super 8 (2011)
The script was really uninspired. Low wattage, low concept stuff that doesn't have a single original or inventive moment in it. If someone presented this story or script at a writing seminar no one would rate it. This truly is an example of something that got made due to connections rather than artistic merit. The monster was crap. The opening ten minutes were very hard going and defeated my brother who bailed on it with complete disinterest. The film was watchable but it never impressed me. A below average movie at best. Maybe if it had some visual flair, some showboating from a great director then it might have been something to get excited about.
4 out of 10


No Strings Attached (2011)
It starts on a weird, slightly confusing note (with how they keep meeting every couple of years) and never recovers. The film fails to find a toehold and stays stuck in first gear. I didn't really understand the relationship and the actors didn't seem to be that into the film, like it was a tiresome contractual obligation (and I'm aware Portman executive produced, which probably means she was instrumental in getting the film made). The whole thing was just rather boring. I ended up reading a magazine during the last half hour. The main problem is that their relationship is never really tested in a convincing way, and that all of it could be so easily resolved. Perhaps the movie was too kind hearted as it could have done with a mean streak to give it a kick. The two characters clearly like each other right from the start and never have a real argument, so they are always on solid ground with each other. Where's the drama in that?
2 out of 10


Final Destination 5 (2011)
This was way, way better than expected. It's probably better than the first film and certainly superior to the sequels. The special effects had a bone crunching ickiness to them that you can feel. It really made me wince a few times, and I can imagine more squeamish viewers struggling with the film. The opening tragedy on the bridge is also probably the best set up of the five movies. The special effects aren't perfect, but they look good and the whole thing is so over the top and nasty. The sequels had a tendency to feel like a string a cool set pieces with no story or characters in them. This time the story had a nice natural flow to it so it didn't just come across as a random collection of scenes. Also the acting was good throughout. One of the actors, playing Peter Friedkin, reminded me strongly of Tom Cruise. I also thought the direction was strong with a few excellent images. The ending is a bit more dramatic than usual as they're not all pals working together. Also the ending is very clever and amusing with a sly little twist that connects it to a previous film in an unexpected way. I'm really impressed with the film. I haven't seen the original in a long time so I'm not sure, but this might be the best movie in the series. Very good.
9 out of 10