Penelope Pan (ePub)

Sex, politics and terrorism collide in Penelope Pan, a darkly comic rip on Peter Pan (with deepest apologies to J.M. Barrie).

Our story focuses on Zackary Lancelot Amadeus Bartholomew, a miserably married, perpetually blocked novelist, who is whisked up to Netherland where he confronts his longed-for Goddess of Inspiration, Penelope Pan. Mozart, the writer's half-blind Golden Retriever, is accidentally transported along with Zack.

Penelope, who sees her job as luring to the surface the "little boy living inside the disillusioned man", hopes to help Zack restore his creativity. True, her methods are anything but PG-rated.

But Zack and his faithful canine cannot fathom their surroundings, an enchanted landscape replete with blue willows, purple grass and mischievous fairies, including Penelope's gay sidekick, Ralph, a tiny guy who wears strappy Louboutin sandals and dispenses Plum Blossom Dust (PBD), a substance guaranteed to improve one's outlook and burn carbs.

We are in Netherland, after all, a place both dark and magical, where rabbits ride bicycles on silver tightropes and a murderous pirate, Simon Hook, is legendary for stripping men of their testicles. Central to the story is Hook's Blood Sun Extravaganza, an Olympics of Erotica that features acts that include the Deflowering of the Vestal Virgins, The Bestiality Boys and Girls, and the Gay Porn Lilies.

Zack, unaware of the more dangerous aspects of his new environment, falls hopelessly in love with Penelope, a golden-haired damsel who seduces him at a fancy dress ball. The two dance, feast and make love in a vast marble dome, where Ralph conducts the Fairy Band, couples mate in the balconies and wild animals mingle docilely with the guests.

But peril awaits all four, including Ralph and Mozart, when Zack and Penelope are taken hostage by Simon Hook and made to suffer all manner of physical and mental abuses, including exposure to The Sadists (Executioners, Dominatrixes, Chucky Cheese and Hannibal Lecter) and seeing Zack's beloved dog pitted against vicious Pit Bulls and Dobermans in a fight to the death.

What does it all lead up to? The possible resurrection of a man who holds the key to his own creative powers by teaming up with his bewitching muse, a young woman who must choose between eternal youth in Netherland and true love on Earth.