Ramblings of a Gutter Queen (ePub)

I am a 34 year old, moody, impatient Taurean woman. I have been diagnosed with more mental illnesses than I can remember, and my morning dose of medication is equivalent to a full English breakfast. I am a wife to one husband and mother of two gorgeous girls. My family is my life. I like things done my way, most of the time. My friends reckon I have an awesome sense of humour. I love sarcasm and swearing. My excuse for my foul mouth is that I have no filter, and before my brain can register what my mouth is going to say, the word just slips off of my tongue. I end up being just as surprised by what I have said as everyone else is. I am honest to a point where some might say I am rude and/or blunt. I love exercising, keeping fit and eating food. My favourite colour is blue, I love tattoos, if my husband would allow me to, I would be covered in ink. I believe in unicorns and the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (I am still waiting for my acceptance letter, just thinking that maybe the owl, who was supposed to deliver my letter, died en route to my home). I love the smell of coconut oil and vanilla pods. I really hate stupid people. I absolutely love Vicks Vapour Rub, I have a jar in every room in our house and one in my car. Vicks cures everything and anything! I enjoy writing, watching movies, reading and hiking. I am actually a fantastic, marvellously, well-rounded human being. I pity those who don't know me and therefore can't bask in my awesomeness. That’s me in a bombshell.