Uncle John's Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader (ePub)

The title says it all. This is the funniest Bathroom Reader EVER. It might even be the funniest book in the history of books, but Uncle John is much too modest to state that outright (even though it is).Over the past 25 years, the Bathroom Readers Institute has published more than 40,000 pages of bathroom reading. In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldnt help ourselves). Thats page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles--such as. It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab! So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, youll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at * Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case. * Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.* Flubbed headlines: British Left Waffles On House Floor * Quirky stars: Billy Idols concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Cant Believe Its Not Butter in his dressing room.* Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a VIP, be on the lookout for a Very Intoxicated Patient.* Comedian quips: I wonder if deaf people have a sign for Talk to the hand. --Zach Galifianakis* Sputtering sportscasters: If only faces could talk. --Pat Summerall And much, much more!