Living in the Presence of His Absence

This autobiographical narrative inquiry examines the lived experience of the devastating death of my son, Jeremiah, and the impact of that loss on my life as mother, woman, and nurse. Literature support is drawn from academic and personal narratives of grief. Narrative methods take a holistic storied approach to research, and data sources consist of my personal journals, e-mails, reflective writings, other grief narratives and poetry, and professional literature. Emerging insights focus on the limitation of traditional grief literature, the human understanding narratives offer, the intensity of experiences of alienation and isolation, the regaining of voice and meaning through narrative methods, the transformational potential of suffering, and the educational value of narrative inquiry processes. Implications for nursing knowledge on loss consist of:a) the diversity, complexity and individuality of grief, b) the ways suffering can lead to transformational healing. In summary,narratives educate and nursing narratives can inspire practitioners and novices through valuing stories of lived experiences.