Margot Mertz Takes It Down

"I mean . . . he was in such incredible shape. There wasn t an ounce of body fat on him. His shoulders, his arms, you should have seen his - Mrs. Blye - I interrupted, hoping to steer this conversation away from . . . wherever it was going.
Sorry. I was just trying to give you context but . . . you re right. That s not important. Nor does it excuse what I did. Or the damage it could do if it got out! Margot . . .
Mrs. Blye looked down at her drink, as if her gin and tonic were somehow going to save her. Clearly she was embarrassed and a little confused. This must have been weird for her. The random brunette she had once given a B+[1] suddenly had a lot of power over her.
Josh was one night. It was just sex. Great sex, yes, but -
Mrs. Blye, again, I really, really don t need to know -
I still love my husband. Sure, we have our problems. I can be distant. And he s gotten very into role--playing board games. She cringed. But that doesn t excuse what I did! And I don t want one stupid, drunken night to . . . She started to tear up. I believe we can make this marriage work if you can just, please, help me.
And that s when she really lost it. We re talking heaving, loud, ugly crying. Normally, Mrs. Blye was pretty attractive. For a teacher. Her white skin was a little too tanned, especially for winter. But she dressed okay and knew her way around a Sephora. If you passed her on the street you wouldn t be like, Daaammn. But if you had to stare at her for forty--one minutes while she described oxidation--reduction reactions, you might find yourself thinking, Huh, she s kinda pretty. But right now? She looked like wet garbage. And she was starting to attract attention.
You okay over here? The ancient cocktail waitress, who I assumed was named Rhonda or Nancy, had appeared beside our booth.
We re okay, thanks, I answered confidently for both of us. Rhonda/Nancy hobbled back to

Carrie McCrossed and Ian McWelty are a husband-and-wife comedian/writing duo. Ian McWethy is a prolific playwright, having written forty plays that are immensely popular with high schools, where his one-acts are routinely among the top ten most produced in the US. Carrie McCrossen is a regular writer/performer at UCB, a contributor to Funny or Die, and an actor on shows like Divorce and Adam Ruins Everything. This is their debut novel.

"The ultimate horror story for Extremely Online People. In their engrossing debut, Carrie McCrossen and Ian McWethy have crafted a twisty-turny narrative that had me laughing one minute and screaming the next. Margot Mertz is the hero we all need!"--Adam Sass, award-winning author of Surrender Your Sons
 
"A laugh out loud, heartfelt mystery starring a hilarious, spiky, and lovable heroine. Margot takes on the two most gut-churning institutions: patriarchy and high school. What can I say? Margot Mertz Takes My Heart!"--Ash Parsons, author of You're So Dead
 
"A thoughtful, funny, righteously angry take on a serious subject."--Kirkus Reviews

"McCrossen and McWethy don t pull punches (the victims distress, and the fact that no one thinks the school administration will intervene, are realistically rendered), while making Margot a sympathetic, fury-propelled narrator with a winningly noir-inflected voice."--Publishers Weekly
 
"In their debut novel, McCrossen and McWethy have tackled a pertinent and sensitive topic and buoyed it with the hilarious awkwardness characterizing the teenage years...The witty first-person perspective and Margot's self-assuance will have readers breezing through the story."--Booklist
 
"Margot s righteous fury will resonate with many readers, who will cheer her efforts to protect victims, gain justice, and enact revenge."--BCCB