Love and Don´t Suffer (ePub)

You suffer too much for love; that's the truth. Even those who pride themselves on being perfectly coupled to their partner, in the depths of their being, sometimes harbor doubts, insecurities, or small anticipatory fears regarding their emotional future. You never know... Who hasn't suffered from being with the wrong person, from feeling a drop in desire, or simply from the caress that never came? Nothing is more hypersensitive than love, nothing more captivating, nothing more vital. To renounce it is to live less or not to live.

Love is multiple. The affective experience is made up of a set of variables that are intertwined in a complex way. Undoubtedly, feeling love is easier than explaining it because no one has educated us to love and be loved, at least explicitly. Affection, in almost all its forms, assaults us and transcends us. I will be told that love is not to "understand" but to feel and enjoy it and that romanticism does not support any logic: nothing more wrong. In addition to being naive, the sentimental attitude is dangerous since one of the main causes of "lovesickness" stems precisely from the irrational and unrealistic beliefs that we have developed about affection throughout our lives. Misconceptions of love are one of the main sources of affective suffering.

Rationalize love?: That's right, not too much, just what is necessary so as not to intoxicate ourselves. Desired love (pleasure principle) and thought love (reality principle), one and the other, reason and emotion in adequate quantities. Love must not only be tasted but incorporated into our system of beliefs and values. It is about increasing the "love quotient" and linking the heart to the mind so that we can healthily channel the feeling. In other words: you have to order and regulate love to make it friendlier and closer to the neurons. I'm not talking about restricting or clipping his wings but teaching him to fly.

What do we mean when we talk about love or say that we are in love? We use countless words that do not mean the same thing as synonyms for love: passion, tenderness, friendship, eroticism, attachment, infatuation, sympathy, affection, compassion, desire, and similar expressions. We have not been able to specify what love is or unify its terminology. For some, to love is to feel passion; for others, love and friendship are the same thing, and not a few associate love with compassion or total and selfless dedication. But who is right? Those who defend sex, those who prefer companionship, or those who think true love is a spiritual fact?

When you are done reading this book, you will have gained a lifetime of experience in just a few short hours. The stories are interesting to follow, and the challenging concepts have been made easy to understand. So get ready to broaden your horizons and adjust your expectations because you are in for one hell of a ride!

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