The Confessions of a well-meaning Woman (ePub)

Excerpt: Lying in bed here, one could not help saying If anything goes amiss, am I leaving the world better than I found it? Under my own vine and fig-tree I had been a good wife to Arthur and a good mother to Will; and, if there had not always been some one of good intentions to smoothe over difficulties with the family on both sides... Blessed are the peace-makers, though I have sometimes wondered whether I did right in even tolerating my brother-in-law Spenworth. It is probably no news to you that he very much wanted to marry me, but I always felt that even Cheniston, even the house in Grosvenor Square, even his immense income would not compensate me for a husband whom I could never trust out of my sight. Arthur may be only the younger brother, I very soon found that the old spacious days were over; but with him one does know where one is, and I have never grudged poor Kathleen Manorby my leavings. There indeed is a lesson for the worldly! She was in love with a poor decent young subaltern named Laughton, more suitable for her in every way; however, the lure of Cheniston and the opportunity of being Lady Spenworth! ... He transferred to an Indian regiment; and, if his heart was broken, so much the worse for him. I am not superstitious; but, when I remember that bit of treachery, when I think of Spenworth, unfaithful from the beginning, when I see those four dairymaid daughters and no heir... Might not some people call that a judgement? It makes no personal difference, for the ungodly will flourish throughout our time; and, though my boy Will must ultimately succeed, he can look for nothing from his uncle in the meantime. I have lost the thread...