The Inheritance of Shame (ePub)

The Inheritance of Shame is the true story of author Peter Gajdics' six years in a bizarre form of conversion therapy that attempted to "cure" him of his homosexuality. Virtually imprisoned in a cult-like therapeutic house called the Styx with other heavily medicated psychiatric patients, they were all under the total authority of a violent, dominating rogue psychiatrist named "Dr. Alfonzo." Their treatment devolved into intense primal scream therapy, weekly injections of Ketamine Hydrochloride, a dissociate drug most commonly used as an animal anesthetic, and constant pressure to abandon their birth parents and form unquestioning bonds with surrogate parents - Alfonzo, as "Daddy," and a woman hired to act and nurture them as "Mommy." They learned not to question Alfonzo, and to prove their loyalty by complete obedience and unpaid servitude. The Inheritance of Shame details Gajdics' attempt to seek legal recourse, juxtaposed against his parents' histories of trauma: his mother's incarceration and escape from a communist concentration camp in post-World War II Yugoslavia, and his father's upbringing as an orphan in war-torn Hungary. Though culturally and politically dissimilar, the emotional undercurrents of each of their narratives converge at key moments throughout the memoir.

Largely chronological, The Inheritance of Shame begins at a key moment in then-23 year-old Gajdics' life when he prostituted himself in his hometown of Vancouver, Canada. The memoir flashes back to Gajdics' birth in 1964, the youngest of five children to Catholic immigrant parents, and touches on key moments from his childhood, including his own eventual understanding into his parents' traumatic histories in Europe during World War II. Most of the memoir, however, focuses on the nearly six years Gajdics spent in a bizarre form of primal therapy with psychiatrist Dr. Alfonzo, who tried to "change" his sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Much of Gajdics' post-therapy years deal with his medical malpractice suit against Alfonzo, while attempting to repair key familial relationships-even in the face of their demise. Spanning decades and continents, Crossing Styx is about the dark forces of oppression and the will to survive; its themes are universal: generational shame, childhood trauma, powerlessness in the face of adversity, self-acceptance, resilience, and the recognition that we have within each of us a core essence that cannot be killed, or "changed."