The Way of Integrity

love, solid self-esteem. But the equation fails to balance. Even after doing everything we can to be good, we don't feel good. Confused, we figure we're somehow not doing enough, or not doing it the right way. But the harder we work at finding the path to well-being, the less well we feel.



I've worked with many people who were so far gone in the dark wood they didn't remember anything else. By the time they came to me, their disorientation had become extreme. There was Jim, the physician who grew more and more repulsed by the thought of touching people until he finally had to close his practice. Or Evelyn, the magazine editor who, though a ravenous bookworm at home, gradually lost the energy to track simple paragraphs at work. Fran, a devoted mother of four, began forgetting so many of her children's playdates and school events that the whole family lived like a herd of spooked horses, nervous and jittery. None of these people was mentally ill, just far gone in a hazy wilderness.



I recognize this murky terrain. Know it well, in fact. I've been to the dark wood of error so many times I should have set up a hot dog stand somewhere in there. From childhood, my one overarching life directive was Do whatever it takes to win approval. Raised in a devout Mormon family, I obeyed every rule of my religion and worked hard at school. Then I went off to Harvard, which was about as far from my childhood culture as I could get without moving to Pluto. I managed by letting everyone I encountered assume that I agreed with them, passing for a devout Mormon at home and a rational atheist at school.



This strategy worked perfectly (approval everywhere!) except that after a while I couldn't move. Physically, I mean. At the ripe old age of eighteen, I developed mysterious, excruciating soft-tissue pain all over my body. I couldn't focus mentally. I started binge eating. I felt out of control and broken and borderline suicidal. I had to take a year off school, the better to fo

New York Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason

The Way of Integrity is Martha Beck at her finest: one hundred percent pure distilled wisdom, truth, and illumination, delivered always with humor. There s no one I d trust more to get me out of the dark woods.  
Susan Casey, New York Times bestselling author of Voices in the Ocean

By the end of this profound, funny, and beautifully crafted book, I finally understood that the wild beasts of my own negativity, impatience, and anger are actually my friends, sent to show me when I am straying from my true path. This book that will help anyone get back on the path and walk more joyfully toward their full integrity.  
Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of Omega Institute and New York Times bestselling author of Broken Open

Beck is my kind of writer: smart, funny, and no-bullshit. In this hit-you-between-the-eyes book, she shows us how easily we fall out of integrity even in small ways, like why we often say yes when we mean no. In an effort to fit into the confines of social constructs family, work, culture we subvert our integrity in the name of love, security, and acceptance. I had no idea how out-of-integrity I am in certain areas of my life. Beck s book has empowered me to take ownership and action.
Esquire

Beck s holistic interpretation of integrity is refreshing. It doesn't feel stiff and constricting. For me, it really lands. It lines up. It feels like truth.  
Houston Chronicle

Beck freely shares her own journey and challenges pilgrims to face up to fears and embrace their inner guides. . . . Many will be moved by Beck s sincerity and lucid techniques.  
Booklist