Crap Lyrics

This is a witty celebration of the worst lyrics ever to grace the airwaves. After all, there are bad lines, and then there are really bad lines. Snap sang "I'm as serious as cancer" in "Rhythm Is a Dancer", while Duran Duran opined 'You're about as easy as a nuclear war' in "Is There Something I Should Know". Spandau Ballet even named a song, "Instinction", after a word that didn't exist. And even the mighty have their off days - Bob Dylan may have written protest anthem "Blowing in the Wind" but he also wrote "Wiggle, Wiggle, like a Bowl of Soup". Even Kate Bush, who spent 10 years writing her eagerly-anticipated "Aerial" album, came out with a song (Mrs Bartolozzi) about a washing machine: "Slooshy sloshy slooshy sloshy / Get that dirty shirty clean"...This is a supremely well-written book on a great topic, by an author who has toiled at the cliff-face of British pop music for years. Who better to steer a narrative path through the convoluted wordplay and hackneyed cliches of crap lyrics?It features awkward phrases, mixed metaphors and platitudes: they're all here to entertain and amuse. Featuring songwriters and musicians from Spandau Ballet to Shakira, it is the natural successor to Portico's popular "The Ants Are My Friends".