Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door
How to Protect Yourself Against a Ruthless Manipulator
(Sprache: Englisch)
From Dr. Martha Stout's influential work The Sociopath Next Door, we learned how to identify a sociopath. Now she tells us what we actually can do about it.
"Mandatory reading on how to effectively deal with sociopaths before you get hurt."-Joe Navarro,...
"Mandatory reading on how to effectively deal with sociopaths before you get hurt."-Joe Navarro,...
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From Dr. Martha Stout's influential work The Sociopath Next Door, we learned how to identify a sociopath. Now she tells us what we actually can do about it."Mandatory reading on how to effectively deal with sociopaths before you get hurt."-Joe Navarro, former FBI special agent and the author of Dangerous Personalities
While the best way to deal with a sociopath is to avoid him or her entirely, sometimes circumstance doesn't allow for that. What happens when the time comes to defend yourself against your own child, a ruthless ex-spouse, a boss or another person in power? Using the many chilling and often heartbreaking emails and letters she has received over the years, Dr. Martha Stout uncovers the psychology behind the sociopath's methods and provides concrete guidelines to help navigate these dangerous interactions.
Organized around categories such as destructive narcissism, violent sociopaths, sociopathic coworkers, sociopathy in business and government, and the sociopath in your family, Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door contains detailed explanation and commentary on how best to react to keep the sociopath at bay. Uniting these categories is a discussion of changing psychological theories of personality and sociopathy and the enduring triumph of conscience over those who operate without empathy or concern for others. By understanding the person you're dealing with and changing the rules of the game, you'll be able to gain the upper hand and escape the sociopath's influence.
Whether you're fighting a custody battle against a sociopathic ex or being gaslighted by a boss or coworker, you'll find hope and help within these pages. With this guide to disarming the conscienceless, Dr. Stout provides an incisive new examination of human behavior and conceptions of normality, and gives readers the tools needed to protect themselves.
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Chapter OneA Hole in the Psyche
Understanding Sociopathy
The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there. Eric Hoffer
In order to explain why the strategies I offer will succeed, I must first pose a seemingly paradoxical challenge to one of your most basic beliefs about how the world works. Imagine there is no such thing as evil. If you are a religious person, imagine there is no Satan, no Prince of Darkness, no deuce, no demon no devil by any name. If you are not religious, ponder how you would feel, and how many of your ideas about life would change, after discovering that evil simply does not exist as an entity in our world. Yet more startling, suppose you were to learn that evil has never existed, not as a thing or as a wily supernatural being, not as a mysterious force or an unseen spirit, not even as some especially shameful part of ordinary human nature. I ask you to take this idea to the limit, to imagine that evil is no more than an ancient myth, like Norse trolls, or Sasquatch, or volcano gods who require the sacrifice of village maidens.
What would be the point? you might respond. To think this way, we d have to ignore too much about life as it is. Our world is full of evildoing and people who seem terrifyingly good at it. Maybe evil is not a force, or a thing, or a being with horns maybe evil does not exist as a noun, so to speak but the word evil certainly works well as a universally understood adjective: there are evil events, evil schemes, evil behaviors. And human beings seem to have a shared understanding of what kinds of events, schemes, and behaviors these are. So, if evil does not exist, what on earth are we talking about when we use the word?
I ask you to understand that there is no such thing as evil because, psychologically speaking, there is not. Wickedness is not an invasive spirit or thing, nor is it some shadowy part of the primal human brain. It is the opposite: rather than an entity that we could
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observe or at least feel, evil is an absence. Instead of something, it is a hollowness where something should have been.
True evil is an empty hole, nothing more and nothing less. The neurology behind this hole will be described in the next chapter. For now, let s continue our discussion of how it reveals itself.
We consider some evil acts to be worse than others: serial murder and ethnic genocide are considered more heinous than, say, stealing an employee s pension. Understandably, we make these judgments based on the magnitude of the effects on how lethal an act was and how many people were affected. Invading someone s home and torturing a family for sport is seen as evil; murdering millions of innocent people is regarded as profoundly so. But all genuinely evil behaviors, from vast and unspeakable crimes against humanity to tormenting one s spouse or embezzling someone s savings, are enabled by the same hole in the psyche.
We can begin to understand the nature of this hole this unfathomed empty space that begins in neurological underdevelopment by considering the following two versions of a story about a simple car accident. In the first telling of the tale, both people involved have ordinary brains and are psychologically whole. In the second version, one of the two individuals has something missing from his brain, literally, though most of his friends and family members would be shocked to learn this.
In the first account of this fictitious car accident, Tom and Jack (both with normal brains) are driving down a nearly empty road on a rainy night, going in opposite directions. Forgetting for a few moments that there could be oncoming traffic, Tom has drifted to the middle of the road and is driving on the yellow line.
True evil is an empty hole, nothing more and nothing less. The neurology behind this hole will be described in the next chapter. For now, let s continue our discussion of how it reveals itself.
We consider some evil acts to be worse than others: serial murder and ethnic genocide are considered more heinous than, say, stealing an employee s pension. Understandably, we make these judgments based on the magnitude of the effects on how lethal an act was and how many people were affected. Invading someone s home and torturing a family for sport is seen as evil; murdering millions of innocent people is regarded as profoundly so. But all genuinely evil behaviors, from vast and unspeakable crimes against humanity to tormenting one s spouse or embezzling someone s savings, are enabled by the same hole in the psyche.
We can begin to understand the nature of this hole this unfathomed empty space that begins in neurological underdevelopment by considering the following two versions of a story about a simple car accident. In the first telling of the tale, both people involved have ordinary brains and are psychologically whole. In the second version, one of the two individuals has something missing from his brain, literally, though most of his friends and family members would be shocked to learn this.
In the first account of this fictitious car accident, Tom and Jack (both with normal brains) are driving down a nearly empty road on a rainy night, going in opposite directions. Forgetting for a few moments that there could be oncoming traffic, Tom has drifted to the middle of the road and is driving on the yellow line.
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Autoren-Porträt von Martha, Ph.D. Stout
Martha Stout, Ph.D.
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Martha, Ph.D. Stout
- 2020, Internationale Ausgabe, 304 Seiten, Maße: 14,2 x 21,1 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Harmony
- ISBN-10: 0593138198
- ISBN-13: 9780593138199
- Erscheinungsdatum: 23.04.2020
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
Dr. Stout's book is mandatory reading on how to effectively deal with sociopaths before you get hurt. Joe Navarro, former FBI special agent and the author of Dangerous Personalities[Dr. Stout s] often grim but ultimately reassuring primer will leave readers feeling better prepared to face the malign individuals in their lives. Publishers Weekly
Praise for The Sociopath Next Door
It sounds like a treatment for a creepy psychological thriller: a world in which one in every 25 people walks through life without a drop of human compassion . . . [But] Martha Stout, Ph.D., says this is not science fiction. . . . Stout claims that 4 percent of the population are sociopaths who have no capacity to love or empathize . . . Stout details the havoc sociopaths wreak on unsuspecting individuals marrying for money, backstabbing co-workers, or simply messing with people for the fun of it. Sara Eckel, Salon
What do the confidence man, the impostor and the serial killer have in common? As Martha Stout points out in The Sociopath Next Door, they are all missing something essential: a conscience. John Rooney, Ph.D., Philadelphia Inquirer
A chilling portrait of human beings who lack scruples the way someone born blind lacks eyesight . . . Stout describes respected professionals who tell outrageous lies simply to confuse colleagues . . . authority figures who deceive, seduce and even murder just to relieve the boredom that is the usual state of the sociopathic mind. A useful if appalling guide to help you recognize conscienceless individuals . . . [and] a heartening affirmation of the empathic mindset that comes naturally to the vast majority of humans. Martha Beck, O: The Oprah Magazine
Stout s well-researched and carefully conceptualized book on conscience is thought-provoking and spiritually satisfying. Her finding, that conscience comes from loving people, is just what we need to know in these
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dark and angry times. Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Letters to a Young Therapist and Reviving Ophelia
A practicing psychologist, Stout has seen too many lives hurt by the conscienceless few, so she s out to alert the good people. Her book is alarming. It s a call to arms, a plea for vigilance on the part of people of conscience so they will recognize the ruthless among them. Rob Mitchell, Boston Herald
A practicing psychologist, Stout has seen too many lives hurt by the conscienceless few, so she s out to alert the good people. Her book is alarming. It s a call to arms, a plea for vigilance on the part of people of conscience so they will recognize the ruthless among them. Rob Mitchell, Boston Herald
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