The Summons of Love

IntroductionLove as an Existential NudgeAn Invitation to Self-ActualizationThe Risks of LoveLove's Panoramic CallingLove as a Gamble1. The Hall of MirrorsThe Quest for WholenessThe Beloved as MirrorThe Pitfalls of NarcissismThe Specificity of DesireThe Speck of Corruption2. The Patterns of PassionThe Compulsion to RepeatRepetition as World-StructuringMissing Our StepRiding the TurbulenceManaging the Repetition3. The Sliver of EternityThe Human and the DivineThe Nick of TimeThe Fall into TendernessThe Process of BecomingThe Reinvention of Identity4. The Midst of LifeThe True SelfThe Touch of MadnessThe Flight from PassionBeyond Romantic NihilismPassion's Enduring Imprint5. The Edge of MysteryThe Enigma of the OtherMessages That MotivateThe Clearing of UnknowabilityThe Softness of SilenceThe Craving for Solitude6. The Ambivalence of IdealsBetween Reality and FantasyThe Generosity of IdealsIdeals That DepleteKeeping Desire AliveLove beyond Ideals7. The Intrigue of ObstaclesJumping HurdlesWhen Satisfaction ThreatensThe Desire to DesireThe Bedrock of DesireLove's Apprenticeship8. The Initiations of SadnessThe Aftermath of LossFrom Sadness to CreativityMoving beyond MelancholiaGiving Up PainThe Wisdom of the Past9. The Lessons of LoveThe Transience of RomanceThe Mission of LoveRespecting Love's RhythmThe Fidelity to LoveLove as a ProcessConclusionThe Ethics of RelationalityA Call for AccountabilitySteering Clear of MasochismThe Other SideContinuing to Care

Mari Ruti was educated at Brown University and Harvard University. She is professor of critical theory at the University of Toronto, where she teaches contemporary theory, continental philosophy, psychoanalysis, and gender and sexuality studies. She is also the author of Reinventing the Soul: Posthumanist Theory and Psychic Life and A World of Fragile Things: Psychoanalysis and the Art of Living.

The self-help field is saturated with books on love, yet Mari Ruti's book, The Summons of Love, is in a class by itself -- elegantly and beautifully written, superior in every way. -- Henry Kellerman, psychologist, psychoanalyst, and author of Love Is Not Enough: What It Takes To Make It Work and The 4 Steps to Peace of Mind: The Simple Effective Way to Cure Our Emotional Symptoms The Summons of Love distills decades of psychoanalytic wisdom into a graceful, engaging, and eminently useful exploration of the ups and downs of romantic love. Whether a veteran or novice in the ways of love, the reader takes away an enriched understanding of what it means to invest in deep relating. -- Margaret Crastnopol, psychoanalyst and clinical instructor, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, University of Washington Ruti is simultaneously clarifying and obscuring, perhaps inevitably in keeping with her subject. Publishers Weekly 5/16/2011 A psychological look at love relationships and their pragmatic benefits that cleverly blends scientific language and romantic concepts. Kirkus Reviews 7/15/11 offers a series of wonderfully counterintuitive insights about what one learns from love and pain and sadness one must sometimes endure to get it, keep it, and survive it. Choice 3/1/2012 Mari Ruti's The Summons of Love is a self-help book with a unique twist: it's grounded in Lacanian psychoanalysis. The insertion of high theory into the advice-book genre is on its face wildly audacious. In its execution, Ruti's book offers a very smart and perceptive discussion of love, and I recommend it highly. -- David Sigler Foucault Studies No 15, February 2013