Wyse Words

Pascal Wyse's Wyse Words have been a regular feature of the Guardian Weekend magazine since 2006.
Wyse Words is a collection of words that should exist, but don't, helping us define an increasingly bewildering world. Wonderfully funny, yet touchingly human, this is a book that encapsulates a spirit of the times.
Suckwit:What you become if you attempt not to sound out of breath during a conversation with someone you fancy, having bumped into them at the gym. Combined with the inevitable holding-in of the stomach, the overall effect is so unpleasant, you would be more cool if you just stood there and wet yourself.Novada: Brief, exciting state of mind during which it seems as if you understand the workings of the US presidential election. You rush to find a water cooler at which to practise sounding casual about New Hampshire, Super Tuesday and article 2 of the US constitution, but suddenly it's gone. What is 'federal' again?Chronanism: Watching a movie you already have the DVD of, just because it is on the telly; Googling ex-lovers; contemplating a cheese diary; starting a charity bag; experimenting with screensavers ... The special collection of vague activities that gets you from 11pm (when you were totally ready for bed) to 1.30am.