You're Gonna Laugh

A judge asks the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"Doing my Christmas shopping early," he replied."That¿s no offense. How early were you doing this shopping?""Before the store opened."People are more violently opposed to fur than they are to leather because it¿s safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs.The mother of three unruly young boys was asked whether or not she¿d have children if she could do it all over again."Sure," she replied,"just not the same ones."Prosecutor: "Did you kill the victim?"Defendant: "No, I did not."Prosecutor: "Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?"Defendant: "Yes, I do. And they¿re a lot better than the penalty for murder."A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver¿s license. First, of course, he hadto take an eyesight test.The optician showed him a card with the letters: C Z W I X N O S TA C Z"Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."Birthdays are good for you:The more you have, the longer you live.The author, Sandy Rozelman, is happy to share her love of humor with you.