18 and Life (ePub)

This book is the beginning of a spiritual revival, not seen in this world since the life of the Apostle Paul. This deeply profound, experiential journey down this 21st century Damascus Road begins with the story of a man named Ricky. Though not a real person, Ricky symbolizes the worldliness present within humanity. His journey was full of suffering: childhood abuse in school, neglect at home. His upbringing came with very little guidance or mentorship. His home life was based solely on fear and discipline, where his scrawny build forced him to assume the role of omega male. All these influences led him to withdraw into his own fantasy worlds of Dungeons and Dragons role playing, watching professional wrestling as an act of hero worship, and masturbation, which offered him unlimited sexual fulfillment with no possibility of having to deal with the added rejection by women. When not in these fantasy worlds, reality slowly turned Ricky into an empty, depraved psychotic monster whose only purpose was revenge, fueled by his hatred for the people who regularly abused him in school.

Eventually Ricky is brought face to face with the real source of all the depravity in his life. It occurs in his mid-twenties, where he is shown a path to freedom from all that hatred, all that revenge, all those negative influences in his life. After much initial resistance, Ricky eventually allows the process of transformation to begin in his life. Lately, I've noticed more and more people choosing not to embrace the possibility that this hope for a brighter future exists. But it is there, all one has to do is embrace it. Many instead choose to engage in vengeful violent behavior, thinking that will help overcome their abusive past. The most common action is to engage in mass-murder suicides in schools, malls, concerts or other venues where many people are present. Lately, this choice is being made by more and more of the Ricky's of the world. An increase in infectious diseases, accompanied by forced quarantines, loss of income, and closed businesses, also contribute to an increase by the Ricky's of the world to eventually engage in these depraved behaviors. Now earlier I mentioned that Ricky isn't a real person, but I want to confess that this story is real. This conversion story is in fact my story, and every experience I described as this persona of Ricky are in fact real stories of my upbringing.

Having said that, having travelled further down this road to depravity than most, I can speak from experience as someone who has allowed those thoughts to consume him. So I write this story out of a personal understanding that murder-suicide is not the answer. I also write to give hope to that child who finds himself daily enduring abuse in school, struggling to accept the possibility that the only way to freedom is suicide. I write this book for that child who has no one to guide or mentor him to constructively make something of himself. I write this book for the adult who has convinced himself that committing mass-murder suicide is the answer. I write this book for the skeptic who believes this world offers little hope. Now while I can't prevent every Ricky in the world from crossing the point of no return, the most important reason I write this story is so that the many other Ricky's out there will read all my books and recognize there is a better solution. Now for those who don't know what it's like to experience any of those challenges in life, each of us have developed a little bit of Ricky at some point in their life. For those that don't believe they have any idea what it's like inside the mind of Ricky, perhaps you know someone else close to you who does. Will you help them begin the process of change, or will you fearfully remain silent as they cross the point of no return?

Though I live in America, I've also learned this problem is not an American problem. Hopelessness, hatred, depravity, murder-suicide, abuse at home or in school, neglect, those are all global problems. This is compounded by more and more confusion as to the difference between truth and lie. As President / CEO of Modern Day Paul Ministries, I hope to be a beacon of spiritual light to those struggling with any of these challenges in life. Spiritually, since allowing my life transformation to begin has led me to understand that my suffering was meant to produce in me positive character values – values I never had the opportunity to learn growing up, since abuse and neglect were the majority of the sources of my moral development. Since then I have had the opportunity to spiritually mature through dual occupations as a sports official (seven sports), and a Religious Affairs NCO (formerly called a Chaplain's Assistant) with the Army Reserves. Since both occupations are part time positions, most of my free time the past twenty years has been spent daily reading Scripture, passionately supplemented by many hours spent watching Christian TV stations and reading additional books about a wide range of spiritual subjects of many different world religions. Among all those subjects, my biggest fascination has been studying prophecy. I participated in, and completed, the first Mentorship Institute sponsored by Voice of Evangelism Ministries, where I was the first person ever anointed by international evangelist Perry Stone, Jr – the greatest honor I have thus far received in my life.

Supernaturally, my story speaks for itself. I won't give away the details, that's what the book is for. Most important, my story begins the process to open the door to a true understanding of the most important attribute to embody in this life. This book is merely the first step in the journey. I look forward to having you join me on this journey to a deeper spiritual maturity. Blessings.