A Patchwork of Some Stuff I Did, Some Thoughts I Had, And a Few Things I Made Up (Including a Couple of Songtan Ville Stories) (ePub)

Are you in the mood for a light-hearted chuckle interspersed with an occasional, "What the hell is he talking about?" Then this book is for you.

Are you tired of losing your place on the page because you have to pause to ponder the poignance of a passage you've just read?

Don't you hate it when just as you are in the heart of an emotion shattering moment of a story, some dilrod interrupts you to ask, "What'cha readin'?"

Relax. There are neither poignant, nor emotion shattering passages in this book. So, dilrods be damned. They can offer you no harm while you read this book.

From the rice paddies of South Korea to the American outback, one stumble-bum muddles his way through life, with his head not always up his . . . Um, that is to say, with his head not always in the clouds.

Here he presents a hodgepodge of quick and easy-to-read short narratives, shorter essays, flash fiction, anecdotes, sketches and musings. Some are lighthearted, some are funny. Some are poignant, and some are dumb. Not to mention, there is plenty of profanity and a modicum of sex. (Mostly PG, some R.)

What is the most compelling thing we can say about his book? "Easy to read . . . Plenty of variety . . . No pesky morals . . . No literary pretentions . . . Some humor . . . and, most important of all, it has Miss Kim in it."

In Praise of Patchwork . . .

"Perfect for readin' in the bathroom. You can read it while doin' your business, then wipe with the pages you've read when you're done." -Billy Bob ("No last name. It's a mononym.") (Editor's Note: Applies to paperback only. Please don't try this with your e-book reader.)

"Really? OMG! After the revolution, 'literature' like this will be banned, and misogynist white males like the author will be forced back into their caves where they belong." -Eviger (Evy) Norgler

"Why would he send me this book to review? This is not acceptable. Not at all acceptable." -Prudence Plaignante

"It's the kind of funny where you can't tell if it's s'pose to be funny, or if it's so awful it's accidentally funny. -Leonard deLowen

"Seems like he was trying to piss everyone off. I couldn't tell whose side he's on." -Carl Sonneson

"Ugh. There's six hours I'll never get back." -Constance Klager

"A mediocre assemblage of profanity and sex, poorly disguised as literature and opinion." -Belladonna Grundy (United Federation of Families Dressed in Grey, Media Review Office)

"Oooh. If he took me up a mountain, I wouldn't want to meditate." -Winnie Callipigiski

"For some reason the author seems to think he's funny. We can't figure it out, but maybe we can help. Help us help him. Buy this book. Together, we can teach him the real meaning of funny. Together, we can make a difference." -Charity Fourier