As Many Nows as I Can Get (ePub)

A Seventeen Best Book of the Year
A New York Public Library Top Ten Best Book of the Year
A Kirkus Best Book of the Year

"A daring, inventive story about love and loss and longing, reminding us that every choice can be a new chance. A dazzling, not-to-be-missed debut." --Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces

In one impulsive moment the summer before they leave for college, overachievers Scarlett and David plunge into a brief and irresistible swirl of romance, particle physics, and questionable decisions.

Scarlett and David have known each other all their lives in small-town Graceville, Colorado, where David is just another mountain in the background, until, one day, he is suddenly so much more than part of the landscape. Magnetic, spontaneous, David is a gravitational force. And Scarlett, pragmatic, wry, eye on the future, welcomes the pull he has on her even as she resists it.

Moving between the present and the past, this is the story of a seemingly grounded girl who's pulled into a lightning-strike romance with an electric-charged boy, and the enormity of the aftermath. Smart, bold, and emotionally deep, Shana Youngdahl's debut explores grief, guilt, and reconciling who you think you need to be with the person you've been all along. It's an aching, transporting reminder that between the past that shapes us and the unknowable future, we have only the present to forgive ourselves and forge ahead.

"A story you won't forget." --Huntley Fitzpatrick, author of My Life Next Door
"Mystery...Heartbreak...Hope...Readers will not be able to put this one down."--SLJ
"Vivid" --Seventeen.com
"You'll speed read through [it]" --PopSugar
"John Green-like, intelligent and peppered with witty repartee" --Booklist
"Heartbreaking, exquisitely crafted" --Estelle Laure, author of This Raging Light
"Deeply authentic...Marvelously complex...Readers shouldn't miss [it]" --Kirkus, starred review
"A complex, compassionately written love story" --PW
"A definite purchase and must read."--VOYA
"Perfect." --Book Page