Behind These Walls (ePub)

Behind these walls, it all starts overnew rules, new people, new stress, new food, and a new environment. Theres time to think, think about things I didnt before, things I hate, things I need, and the reasons Im here. Im here because of the decisions I and others have made. Im taking the fall for most and doing more time than I ever have and being put down further than I already am. Im taking disrespect, feeling as if I dont belong and never did. With all the stress building up, its hard not to explode.

After being in here for so long, I barely know myself. I put on a mask, hiding my emotions and feeling nothing but being alone, unappreciated, unrecognized. Sometimes I think Im becoming a society soldier being formed into someone I dont know. I wake up every morning after sleeping like crap and see the lights that never turn off, the white brick walls, a metal toilet, a door in my favorite color. I sleep on a concrete slab, but I guess its not that bad. Im no stranger to moving. Ive slept on, eaten, and been through worse. Ive been to the point of no return, but that one thought keeps me pushin, and Im glad it has because without it, I might not have been here today. With all Ive learned and continued to learn, Im starting to see a future, and Im starting to plan, to take control, to form my life.

With all the time Ive had in here to relax, I find it hard with everything on my mindmy mom, my dad, my future, my failures, and how Im going to change to create myself. One of the hardest things is being away from everything Ive worked formy work, my family, my friends, and my future. And behind these walls, some just dont understand what some of us go through. Some say were just reckless kids or we never should have been born, but what they dont know is that were just lost in an ever-growing world that is always changing and because of one decision, our lives were changed.

So my message to you is this: think before every decision because your time and freedom are the most important things in our lives. Dont waste your time and freedom behind any walls besides the ones you built and build.