Dead Monkey Rum (ePub)

"A fantastically rich and entertaining piece of work with an original sharp edge."

-- Jim Woodring (writer/artist of Weathercraft, The Frank Book, and One Beautiful Spring Day)

"A remarkable rush of entertainment and thrills."

-- Alan Moore (author of V for Vendetta and Watchmen)

A mixture of urban fantasy and Los Angeles noir, DEAD MONKEY RUM revolves around a stolen Tiki idol that contains the ashes of visionary artist Stanislaw Szukalski. Our heroes, an alcoholic monkey named Robert Mclintlock and a beautiful bartender named Stephanie Waterfall, must locate the missing statue in the wilds of Los Angeles before a tribe of pissed-off Yetis can get their massive, dirty paws on it. Because the obsidian idol possesses magical properties, the cryptozoological beasts intend to use it to kickstart the destruction of the entire human race.

DEAD MONKEY RUM is an alcohol-fueled voyage through the heart of Los Angeles.

This tumultuous odyssey amidst the Tiki bars, illicit casinos, exclusive hotels, trains, buses, and hidden tunnels and grottoes that lay beneath the City of Angels propels our hero, Robert McLintock (who just so happens to be a wiseacre simian conman from a small island called Koshima located off the coast of Japan), from his comfort zone in Orange County, into the violent byways of Hollywood, and far beyond Southern California to the Rano Rarako volcanic crater on the remotest island in the world, Rana Nui, also known as Easter Island, where our heroes ultimately engage in a final, fierce, knockout battle with an army of homicidal Abominable Snowmen for the control of Planet Earth.

"Stanislaw Szukalski would love DEAD MONKEY RUM. This novel is addictive like a heavy drug. Make space in your calendar to read it all."

-- Irek Dobrowolski (director of the Netflix documentary, Struggle: The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski)

"Yetis, Tiki Gods, Cryptozoology, and rum-filled adventure! Sign me up and tell me when the ship sails! I'm recommending this Robert Guffey novel to all my friends, family, and foes to take their minds completely off whatever they are thinking about, Wonderful."

-- Loren Coleman (Mysterious America, The Field Guide to Lake Monsters and Sea Serpents, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, Curious Encounters, and 40 other books - Director of the International Cryptozoology Museum)

"Robert Guffey's fantastic novel, DEAD MONKEY RUM, will at least bring your brain out of a coma, if not get your imagination off the couch. This is a thinly masked tribute /adventure to the late Stanislaw Szukalski and his boundless imagination. This book is a mental gymnasium."

-- Robert Williams (Visual Addiction, Hysteria in Remission, and Through Prehensile Eyes)