Earthdoom (ePub)

How will the world end today? Will it be from great floods? Or from asteroids? Martians from space? The great plague? Zombies? Nazis from the dark side of the Moon? This book has them all!

Long touted as the best parody of disaster books, this book has returned from the depths of time to make the world die of laughter.

"The trouble with Earthdoom! is that you really have to grope through a host of books with titles like Tapeworm! and Sludge! and plots like - well, like episodes of Earthdoom! to appreciate just what Langford and Grant are sending up. By then, of course, either your brain has rotted away from disuse or you're so paranoid that the next time the gerbils nip your finger you come down with psychosomatic rabies and infect half the neighborhood.

"Even if you forgo the study of literary influences, however, you'll still enjoy Earthdoom! You won't, of course, be able to read another Disaster Novel without giggling (but don't you, anyway?) as what we have here is a scenario for just about every end-of-the world novel possible, starting with the earth tilting on its axis and taking in Hitler cloning himself on a Devonshire farm, the Loch Ness Monster, comets and Horrible Slimy Aliens on a collision course with earth, and sub-critical-mass bits of plutonium doing likewise in the London Underground - and I won't even mention the lemmings and the superglue save to say that you'll probably never want to go to the lavatory again. It's all held together with a plot line involving Death, the Antichrist, various sets of incompetent scientists as two-fistedly gung-ho as any Doc Smith character (but randier) and various knock-knock jokes . . .

"If you don't get a copy of this for your collection of skiffy blockbusters there isn't much hope for you . . ."
--Andy Sawyer, Paperback Inferno

GULP?

As the Earth tilts on its axis, precipitating a new Ice Age, hordes of rabid lemmings race towards Europe.

Meanwhile a time-travelling Hitler emerges in sleepy Devonshire and proceeds to clone himself in preparation for the march on London. Will a Fourth Reich rise to strangle the Mother of Parliaments? Or will London be devastated by a nuclear accident on the Tube?

The luckless crew of Spaceship Earth have no time to pose such questions as an epidemic of demonic possession and prophetic visions erupts in the USA and an approaching envoy from a distant galaxy broadcasts the following message:

YOU EARTHLING SCUM ARE THE DREGS OF THE UNIVERSE.
WE COME TO ANNIHILATE YOU PAINFULLY AND RAPE YOUR PLANET

EARTHDOOM! is the disaster novel to end 'em all. And not before time . . .