F*ck Fifty Hookers (Or Be Resigned to a Life of Loneliness): A Pulp Satire (ePub)

The only (living/dead/real/unreal) person the lonely protagonist of F*CK FIFTY HOOKERS (OR BE RESIGNED TO A LIFE OF LONELINESS): A PULP SATIRE can identify with is Travis Bickle because like the "Taxi Driver," he so desperately wants to connect with others, but just can't. Everything changes though when his dog, Henry, begins talking to him and reveals what he must do if he truly doesn't want to live this "life of loneliness" anymore. Influenced by the humor of Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, and Kurt Vonnegut, F*CK FIFTY HOOKERS is a satirical riff on modern life and the nonsensical "first world" lives people lead.

This book contains two bonus short stories:

YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER IF YOU'RE NOT THERE TO COMMIT IT - a conscienceless man has the ability to "leap" to different points in his life ("Confused? Let me explain my "superpower" to you with a simple example," says the protagonist. "Let's say I'm stuck in a dead end job right now that pays shit and I want a better life. All I would need to then do is look up today's winning lottery numbers, leap back to yesterday, buy a ticket with those numbers and then bam - I'm a fuckin millionaire now and can tell my asshole of a boss to go fuck himself.") and thus avoid the consequences of any and all of the nefarious things he has done. This hunky-dory fate of his comes to a screeching halt when he is confronted by a man who threatens to leave him in the worst reality possible if he doesn't stop leaping.

I'D BE A LOT HAPPIER IF I DIDN'T THINK SO MUCH - a depressed man thinks that his psychiatrist isn't actually trying to help him with his issues and is only numbing him with medicine. "I mean if the world really is bad," says the depressed man. "Then why shouldn't I be affected by it and feel depressed as a result? I'm a human after all and I'm only just reacting to my environment, right?" His "environment" does in fact change though when he decides to stop thinking so much and take two experimental mood medicine without first researching what the pills actually do.