How To Break Up With Your Significant Other (ePub)

ABOUT THE BOOK

Breakups don't have a one-size-fits-all solution. When you break up with someone, you are basically saying to the other person "I don't like spending time with you anymore," "I no longer find you attractive," or "You are not worth the inconvenience this relationship is causing me." So, chances are good a breakup will end with at least one person's feelings hurt. Nobody will congratulate you on a job well done, but with some planning you can help things go more smoothly so that you and your soon-to-be-ex are able to contain your emotions, nobody is embarrassed or hurt, and the whole thing is over quickly.

Use this guide to help you figure out and execute the best breakup plan for you. Formulating your plan is going to take some thought and preparation, but ultimately it will be worth it.

MEET THE AUTHOR

Deena Shanker is a writer living in San Francisco. After moving to the west coast from New York City in the fall, she is loving San Fran's beautiful weather, colorful architecture, and never-ending vegetarian food options. She loves visiting the beach with her dog, Barley, and eating cheese (also sometimes with Barley). She is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania Law School and Barnard College.

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK

Every relationship and every breakup is different. To create a solid, reliable breakup plan, you should consider yourself, the other person, and, of course, why you want to break up.

We'll start with you. What do you ultimately want to achieve? What is your goal? Do you want to make this less painful for you, or do you want to make this easier on the other person? Your answers to these questions will help you determine the best course of action.

And be sure to consider the other person as well. Are you dating a verbal person? A loud person? An emotional person? Someone who will feel sad or someone who will be angry? Think about how the person will react when you express, as Nada Surf once so precisely put it, that you "prefer the company of others to [his/her] exclusive company." If you expect a lot of tears or yelling, prepare yourself.

Now you need to think about your specific relationship. How long have you been dating? Do your paths cross often? Do you know a lot of the same people? The more serious the relationship, the more explanation is expected and, honestly, owed. If you interact regularly (e.g., as coworkers or classmates), pay special attention to what you say to avoid embarrassment later. Knowing a lot of the same people is another reason to keep the filter on. If you don't want something repeated, don't say it. Thinking through these things will help you figure out the hardest part of a breakup: what you are going to say? See Step Two below for more.

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