I Heart Sonoma (ePub)

After several years in Hollywood, writer Daedalus Howell washed up in his native Sonoma County only to find it transformed into "e;Wine Country."e; For the past five years, Howell has expended as many brain cells as words researching and writing columns about what it means to actually live in wine county versus the notion of "e;wine country living."e; Part How-To guide, part satire as seen "e;through a wine glass, darkly,"e; I Heart Sonoma: How to Live & Drink in Wine Country is a hilarious and insightful selection of wine-soaked works for which Howell won "e;Best Humorous Column"e; from the National Newspaper Association in 2011. Readers will learn valuable insights such as the five most common misperceptions about Sonoma:1.) "e;Sonoma"e; is Miwok for "e;Napa-lite."e; Despite what linguists familiar with Native American tongues insist from their side of the border, according to author Jack London, "e;Sonoma"e; means "e;Valley of the Moon."e; Albeit, London's source was a bottle of whiskey. 2.) Sonoma offers wine cave spelunking. This is only partially true. Wine caves are generally laid out horizontally rather than vertically, which makes navigating them (and gravity) more intuitive. That said, after an in-cave wine tasting, some imbibers have been known to end up horizontal, creating the illusion of scaling a cave wall when one regards the floor at a 90-degree angle. 3.) Getting married in a winery is romantic. Yes, for everyone except the winery staff. Since the salary for the in-house event coordinator takes up the entire event support budget, the winery's tasting room personnel are often drawn into the fold. To wit, your daughter may not have a world-class sommelier pairing wines with her nuptial nibbles, though the 30-something bottle jockey with a degree in philosophy and encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars will do in a pinch. Mazel Tov!4.) You can't judge a wine by its label. True, but you can judge a label by its wine. During the first glass, opinions run the full gamut - from "e;Hmm"e; to "e;Uh-huh."e; The second glass of wine leads to more in-depth label observations like "e;Hey, this bottle has a label on it."e; By the third glass, label critiques are often characterized by proclamations of "e;I love you, man"e; and "e;Let's get another bottle of - wait - what's it say on the label?"e;5.) Sonoma's winery owners are filthy rich. Well, winery owners used to be filthy rich but, as the adage goes, to make a million in wine, start with ten million. Wine is largely a labor of love. And a tax shelter. The trick is getting the owners to "e;write off"e; a bottle in your presence. I've written off many a bottle since moving to Sonoma and a few have even written back.