Journaling Out Of Narcissism (ePub)

Most of my words came through my automatic writing, and I am also dyslexic. Please excuse my literature. I hope this book fills in some gaps in other studies. I love you all.

Most of my writings are for the narcissistic personality like me. If you are not a narcissist then I advise you to look elsewhere. At the same time, I welcome anyone to read.



There was a point in my life when I used to feel like I would forever be a victim, and never experience forgiveness. I was also dealing with guilt, shame, and separation anxiety. My traumatic experiences caused me to do inappropriate things to others and allowing others to do inappropriate things to me. I once thought that I have moved on by burying my past and my pain.



I did not realize that I was feeling resentful, grieving, regretful, guilty and ashamed of myself. I used to feel like I was full of sin, I felt like God was disappointed in me and that later on, I would eventually go to hell. No matter what I did, I could not fill in my empty hole that was in my heart. Ignoring my past and my pain caused me to be the enemy to myself.



The journey inwards or looking at my reflection helped me see that I was living my life in fear and in denial. I thought it was everyone else outside of me that was causing hell in my life; I wanted to get out of bad karma. So I asked myself who is the enemy then? It was easier to say everyone outside of me was the bad ones. How does a person get out of self-hate, shame, regret, pain, and suffering? Can anyone especially a narcissist become reformed?



My Narcissistic traits caused me to do many harmful and hurtful things, is there a heaven for us? So if heaven is real, inner peace, bliss, and feeling forgiven, then I will find it on earth. Can I ever truly heal and let go to experience self-liberation, self-realization or spiritual enlightenment? Is it possible for a selfish narcissist such as I to attain holiness?

Can a narcissist grow his/her wings back?

I began to invest in self-growth with many years of eternal self-actualization. This is how I began to see that inner peace and spiritual bliss are attainable. I realized that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness and validate myself.