Journaling Out Of Selfishness (ePub)

I use automatic writing, and I am dyslexic. Please excuse my literature. I hope this book fills in some gaps in other studies. I love you all.

There was a point in my life when I used to feel like I would forever be a victim. I was also dealing with separation anxiety. My traumatic experiences caused me to do inappropriate things to others and allowing others to do inappropriate things to me. I once thought that I have moved on by burying my past and my pain.

I did not realize that I was feeling resentful, grieving, regretful, guilty and ashamed of myself. I used to feel like I was full of sin, I felt like God was disappointed in me and that later on, I would eventually go to hell. No matter what I did, I could not fill in my empty hole that was in my heart. Ignoring my past and my pain caused me to be the enemy to myself.

The journey inwards or looking at my reflection helped me see that I was living my life in fear and in denial. I thought it was everyone else outside of me that was causing hell in my life; I wanted to get out of bad karma. So I asked myself who is the enemy then? How does a person get out of self-hate, regret, painandsuffering?

If heaven is real then I will find it on earth? Can I ever truly heal and let gotoexperience self-liberation? I began to invest inself-growthby many years of eternal self-actualization. This is how I began to see that inner peace is attainable. I realized that I had to take responsibility for my own happiness.

There was a point in my life where I used to feel like I would forever be a victim. I was bullied, and I was also dealing with separation anxiety. My traumatic experiences caused me to do inappropriate things to others and allowing others to do inappropriate things to me. I once thought that I have moved on by burying my past and my pain. I did not realize that I was feeling resentful, grieving, regretful, guilty and ashamed of myself.

I used to feel like I was full of sin, I felt like God was disappointed in me and that later, on I would eventually go to hell. No matter what I did, I could not fill in my empty hole that was in my heart. Ignoring my past and my pain caused me to be the enemy to myself and others. My sociopathic and narcissistic behavior was not making my life any easier.

My journey inwards or looking at my reflection helped me see that I was living my life in fear and in denial. I thought it was everyone else outside of me that was causing hell in my life; I wanted to get out of bad karma. So I asked myself who is the enemy? How does a person get out of delusions of grandeur, shame, self-hate, regret, pain, and suffering?

If heaven is real then I will find it before I die? Do we ever truly heal and let go to experience self-liberation and inner peace? I needed to challenge my ignorance so I began to invest in self-growth by many years of eternal self-actualization. This is how I began to see that inner peace is attainable. I realized that I h