Letters From Your Nightly Nelson (ePub)

AT LAST! Hilarious Observations for everyday situations concerning race, religion, gender, class, creed and sex!

Do you need advice on how to keep a dog from sniffing your crotch? Would you like to become a proponent of The Free Cat Guarantee? As a man, would you like to know the twelve steps to understanding women? Ladies, read all about and finally know What Men REALLY WANT!

Do you want the ultimate answer to the question, "Let's Be Friends?" Find out why you should never rent a workout DVD. Learn why the Department of Motor Vehicles is the ONLY place that has achieved perfect equality.

Additional advice for women:

1. Explore why men HAVE to go to college.

2. Read about how you can write the ultimate profile to land a man on a dating website.

3. Know The Three Things a Woman Should NEVER Say to a Man.

4. Find out why men just don't get sexual innuendos.

Additional advice for men:

1. Learn about and how to avoid Pathetic Men in Packs.

2. Achieve peace in the household.

3. Why men coast after marriage.

4. The proper way to hug another man.

Also, get valuable information about why a wingman is the most important person you need in a social situation and why you need "Bait".

For the religious right, get solid answers on why we need an expansion religion, why breakfast was invented, and finally the proof we have all been seeking: The existence of God.

And finally, an answer for why the toilet seat must be left up in the bathroom!

All this and more answered in the book of essays called: Letters From Your Nightly Nelson. Social, marital and scientific advice for the world.

Book Chapters Include: Why Movies Were Invented, White People and Extraterrestrials, Save The Chickens, The Five Man Offense, Active Darwinism, The Dude Hug, Genesis 1:26, Women Talk Men Fix, Go Ahead, Stare at my Girlfriend, The Price for Locking in the Trim, Fortune Cookies, Let Me Choose My Own God, Work that Stuff, See the Hill, Take The Hill, Women Dress for Other Women, Seat Up Seat Down.