Living for Two (ePub)

I am not the same person I was when I began writing this book. The process of writing in my journal, then expanding it into a book for family and friends, and finally evolving into a story others might find useful, has changed me. It's been a journey of personal transformation and healing beyond anything I ever imagined.

The meaning of life derives from how we have come to interpret it based on our unique experiences. Do we notice them or do we focus instead on the destination - that future point in time? Do we stop and notice the slightly torn wing of a butterfly as it glides across our path? Writing this book has meant coming to a screeching halt, stopping suddenly in my path and taking time to re-examine, re-explore, re-feel, reconstruct and reframe the most difficult and painful period of my life, which took place between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. It has been a journey of thirty-three years to have the pieces of the puzzle come together.

In my forty-seventh year, I looked at the details of my past. The young Lauren was there all along. I just hadn't noticed. She had waited for me to come back and get her. I missed her - but I didn't know it until I found her. Then I remembered. There was once a precious young person who had dreams. She struggled to understand the world around her but so much did not make sense. She couldn't separate truth from fiction, reality from pseudo-reality. Her heart was broken early, her spirit bruised, her vision blurred by tears and pain. Reaching for her was like cleaning out the basement and the attic, going through the cobwebs and closets, the dust and debris, everything knotted and tangled. There were layers of pain, misinformation, social conditioning, and oppression. This process involved getting back to that beautiful child and the purity and simplicity of her dreams. Reclaiming her.

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