Oh Hell, Joe! (Uncut) (ePub)

Joe, a notorious gangster and killer in the late 1920's New York, is finally killed in a shoot-out with the cops. He finally ends up in Hell and meets up with some of his gang buddies, some who were killed in previous gun battles, as well as a few of Hell's inmates whom he befriends.

Having been allocated work in one of the factories producing clothes for Hell's army, Joe decided this was no place for him and he made up his mind to do whatever possible to get back to Earth. He secretly brought his friends together and they formulated various plans that might get them out of Hell and back to Earth.

Gregor, one of the Enforcers of Hell, took a special interest in Joe and his friends and gave them a hard time. Time and again when they embarked on their numerous escape attempts they got caught and punished. During the last attempt they got caught and sentenced to the 'outback' to spend their sentence amongst the stinking sulphur pits, but Joe and his friends overcame their guard (Idi Amin) and managed to get back, only to be brought before the management of Hell and be sentenced harshly.

The executives of Hell were in the final stages of planning for the war against God and they couldn't afford anything going wrong. When Joe and his mates started rocking the boat these executives began to get very jittery and the CEO (Hitler) issued instructions that security had to be tightened up to the limit. No rebellious behaviour would be allowed or tolerated!

When Joe, who didn't know when to give up, organised a general strike in the many huge factories as well as in the army, all hell broke loose! This was serious business and Joe was finally identified as the ringleader of the conspiracy. He escaped down into the never-ending Dimension Spiral that has many doors leading to all sorts of interesting and sometimes terrifying dimensions. He finally arrived in the dimension of 'nothingness', that had no way out, and after nearly losing his mind he was met by one of the senior security agents of God's dimension, who was waiting for him to arrive.

Joe was taken through the magical portal into God's dimension and he marvelled at the wonders he saw. Eventually, after being introduced to the top executives and closely questioned he was brought before the archangels who were aware of his efforts to get back to Earth, as well as the mayhem he had caused in Hell. They made Joe an offer he could hardly refuse. After he accepted their proposals they magically transported him back in time to the factory where he was stationed. This caused major confusion in Hell, as the alarms had gone off when the door to Hades had been opened, and it was impossible to explain who had escaped, seeing as no one was missing!

Joe had a hard time convincing his friends that what had happened to him was really true, but in the end, they accept it.