Organic Stories III (ePub)

Don't ever shut up! Never shut up! Speak when you are sad, when you are happy, when you are hurt, when you are offended, when you are right, when you are wrong... but never shut up. Look into the eyes of the person you share life with and speak. The meaning of love is "Conversation". In the old days, newlyweds were told, "May your dialogue last forever." We talked about everything. We told each other enough to memorise each other. We chatted day and night about everything that happened from beginning to end. Although it may seem like a small and insignificant problem, it is necessary to talk in the heat of the moment; after it gets cold, you cannot eat food, drink tea, and what you feel has no meaning. The problem we call insignificant grows over time and suffocates you. Remember my last word; nothing can warm a person who is cold due to lack of care.

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I want to call all this "fate". I have to convince myself of it. If I doubt myself even a little, I know that I will spend the rest of my life burning in the fire fuelled by remorse in my self-created hell. Wet words spill from my lips... and only I hear them.

***

I didn't read it to avoid contact and contamination of people. It seemed worthless to add a title in front of my name. In this country, titles were cheap enough to be bought with money. I am an intelligent and sensitive person. Maybe the problem was to be both intelligent and sensitive. An intelligent person could not be sensitive. A sensitive person could not be intelligent. Being sensitive caused emotional reactions. When sentimentality and pity come into play, intelligence evaporates like vapour. I chose to be stupid. Nobody picks on me and takes care of me, so I am worthless in people's eyes and they ignore me.

***

When I was very young, my parents and elders around me often warned me not to lie. "Allah is up there, if you lie, He will turn you to stone," they would say. But why doesn't Allah turn people who tell so many lies to stone? Why don't what people say and what they do match?As people grow, do compassion and conscience shrink and disappear?