Poof (ePub)
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Raised in the extraterrestrial enclave of Spirit Lake, Iowa, when Eric Foster was an infant Osiris the Alien gave him a translucent orb containing a vial of the Buddha's tears, Geronimo's bible, Cleopatra's hand-mirror, a Niklaus Copernicus telescope lens, a Teddy Roosevelt toothpick, Leonardo da Vinci's scissors, Van Gogh's painting trowel, Crazy Horse's moccasins, a box of Christopher Columbus cigars, and a lock of the Minotaur's hair. Having misplaced it, Eric wonders where the orb went and hauls his humanly-historical relics to Happytime Hot Springs and Unusual Event Center in Boulder, Colorado to be night-desk clerk. Osiris returns the orb, Eric befriends Andy the Inter-Dimensional Hot Springs Dog, and competes for Atlantean granola-girl Valentina Meraki's affections with nemesis, Hardbreath who transforms into a mountain lion at will. When Colonel Chemtrail and the Space Force Hot Spots arrive with Socrates, the Buddha, Copernicus, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Columbus, and Teddy Roosevelt, Happytime happy times rocket over the moon. That's when Laughing Disease infects humanity, Glenda the Glacier goes rogue, and Marty the Meteor decides to mash Earth's potatoes on Labor Day. Famed film director Quentin Quarantino and assistant Clora Quinn are making a Happytine and trio-of-calamities documentary. "This will win an Academy Award."
Labor Day. Marty pierces Earth's gravitational influence and it's goodbye Happytime hello last open earthly portal, in Chaco Canyon, New Mexico. The Minotaur and Teddy Roosevelt smash an alien-FBI roadblock, da Vinci and Van Gogh paint a shortcut the aliens and FBI crash into like Wile E. Coyote chasing Roadrunner, and Colonel Chemtrail's bomb-vest thwarts the final alien assault and himself. Laughing Disease ravages the populace and Glenda soaks everything, it doesn't matter, Marty slams Earth soon after the Happytime gang pop through the portal and wrangle the MIlky Way to Sirius the Dog Star, safe among cosmic creatures knowing how to dodge a meteor better than humans.
A perception-provoking defiance of reality with a hundred humorous spins, Poof is one part Eastern Mysticism, one part Magical Realism, and one part what's left of American Gumption, a modern-day Alice in Wonderland, a butt-load of fun.
"There's a thin line between sexiness and absurdity and tenderbastard is determined to find it." ~ Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
"His writing is like Jack Kerouac and Douglas Adams." ~ A Novel Way
"As good as anything on Broadway." - Jeff Horn, director ~ Moon Over Mangroves. - youtube.com/tenderbastard
"One of the great literary finds of the decade." ~ Doris Chu, editor
"I have met tenderbastard and find his writing witty. This book review confirms that conviction." ~ President Barack Obama
Other books at tenderbastard.com
Two Chimps and a Chump - President Atlas Emerald pays the ultimate price for trying to make the world a better place.
Sticks and Stones - Dylan Sticks and Seamus Stones save the Colorado Territory from being boon-swoggled by Samuel Sidewinder Sullivan and his oily accomplice, Senator Billfold Haggle. Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, look out, Sticks and Stones are in town.
Thank You for Being My Boy by Georgia the well-heeled terrier hound. Adventure, intrigue, insights and all the love in a dog's heart.
- Autor: Tenderbastard
- 2022, Englisch
- Verlag: tenderbastard
- ISBN-10: 821562104X
- ISBN-13: 9798215621042
- Erscheinungsdatum: 07.10.2022
Abhängig von Bildschirmgröße und eingestellter Schriftgröße kann die Seitenzahl auf Ihrem Lesegerät variieren.
- Dateiformat: ePub
- Größe: 0.29 MB
- Mit Kopierschutz
- Vorlesefunktion
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