The Best Laid Plans... (ePub)

No, the title is not a quote from Shakespeare, but rather from the Scottish poet, Robert Burns. If you don't believe me, you can Google it. Nevertheless, it is appropriate to this book.

They say the gods laugh when we make plans. And all 28 short stories in this book involve the gods somehow laughing at us. We set our hopes, dreams, and desires along a certain path only to find them careening over the edge of an unseen cliff like Wile E. Coyote in his attempts to capture the Road Runner.

Our lives are filled with Wile E. Coyote-like moments that can best be summarized by his resigned despair as he stares directly at the viewer just before gravity kicks in and sends him hurtling down to the canyon below followed by a distant "thump" and a circular cloud of expanding dust. The gods then take the role of the Road Runner who peers over the edge of the cliff, smiles, and takes off with a loud "Meep Meep!" While I don't mean to suggest that falling off a cliff, literally or figuratively, is funny, watching people colossally fail in their endeavors, even with the help of overly elaborate plans and the Acme Corporation, can be humorous indeed.

Most of these stories belong to a rich oral history that is shared by the protagonist in a bar or at dinner. Details may have become blurry and situations "slightly" exaggerated. But, as any storyteller knows, these are not news reports but rather a fun way to spend some time.

Telling funny stories in bars has generally been associated with males. However, if you listen carefully you can find women regaling their companions with absolutely hysterical life experiences. In an effort to provide gender equality, approximately half the stories are based on women's lives and told from their point of view.

The stories do not appear in any particular order, although some have multiple parts. Some of them took place over fifty years ago. Some are far more recent. It's OK to start in the middle and work your way forward or backward. Or to keep this book in the bathroom to read in the porcelain library. I won't mind. But don't forget to wash your hands!