The Housewife Assassin's Handbook / Housewife Assassin (ePub)

Murder. Suspense. Sex. And some handy household tips.

IN THE 1ST NOVEL IN THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES

Every desperate housewife would love an alias. Donna Stone has one and it's government-sanctioned. Oh sure, you've got to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the 5th-grade phone tree during a shootout with arms dealers, or driving a carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.

Donna's life wasn't always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband, Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna's life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby:

Carl's car blew up on the way to the hospital.

Turns out Carl was an assassin for the black ops organization known as Acme Corporation. The hit on Alex was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum's motto: "Show me the money." Governments and corporations do as they're told--or suffer bloody consequences. Carl left something behind that the Quorum wants badly. To protect herself and avenge Carl's death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart's, her marksmanship is second to none. A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that's too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?

Acme's way of flushing out the Quorum is by "bringing Carl back from the dead." But terrorism makes strange bedfellows. Jack Craig, the wild card Acme operative paired with Donna brings new meaning to that old adage "Honey, I'm home..."

PRAISE FOR THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES

"The last book that made me laugh: Josie Brown's The Housewife Assassin's Handbook. I taught it in a class about comic novels." -Jane Smiley, Pulitzer Prize-winning author, A Thousand Acres

"A hilarious, laugh-out-loud read. Donna is a fantastic character - practical, witty, and kick-ass tough. There's plenty of action - both in and out of the bedroom - and although there are a few grittier scenes, generally this is a light, humourous caper of a crime novel. I especially love the housekeeping tips at the start of each chapter - each with its own deadly twist! I can't wait to read the next in the series. Highly Recommended." -Stephanie Broadribb's Crime Thriller Girl blog

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"Donna will do anything to protect her family, even pretend a total stranger is the father of her children that they don't remember. She goes through every emotion realistically: sadness, stress, guilt, worry, jealousy, anger, feeling violated, and feeling betrayed then finally victorious. Brown writes the kind of feminist action plot that men should be reading, especially male authors, to cure that trope of 'vapid sexy girl with a gun.'" -Amber Love, author

"On many days, I'll join deep discussions about the works of Le Carré, Deighton, Greene, Ambler, and Forsyth. And then I take incredible delight in a series like The Housewife Assassin. Just the name would likely cause eyebrows to be raised, and my stature as an 'expert' falls a bit. Too bad! The authors mentioned above all entertained the heck out of me. And so does Josie Brown's fun and amusing Donna Stone. I take a lot of delight from the series. I hope you do as well because I want more adventures." -Randall Masteller, Spy Guys + Gals