Twits, Nitwits, and Misfits (ePub)

Real-life twits, nitwits, and misfits (TNMs) tend to annoy, antagonize, andalienate anyone with whom they associate. They can't help it. But thefictional oddball personalities featured in Twits, Nitwits, and Misfits - the book - could never inflict real-life trauma on anyone. So they're safe,and often even amusing, for the book's readers to hang out with page to page.TNM's behavioral patterns and habits often overlap and interlace. Even theauthor can't always distinguish twits from nitwits and misfits. That's becausetwits often behave like nitwits. Then, with minimal practice and some coaxing,they morph easily into lifelong societal misfits. The few average Joes depictedin this book are, of course, readily recognizable as welcome company.As anaside, the person who composed this book's foreword appears to be working atcross-purposes with the book's author. Although usually (ostensibly) written totout a book's own merits, this foreword tends instead to tout and extensivelycatalogue it's own writer's talent, experience, and accomplishments. But,whatever the purpose, readers may believe this foreword could have been writtenby one of the fictional twits, nitwits, or misfits (or perhaps even one of theaverage Joes on a bad day) who populate the book itself.This book's 82vignettes introduce a minihorde of dysfunctional or malfunctioning males andfemales. Desperation, turmoil, strife, conflict, despair, and instability - butthankfully, not yet pestilence - burden or perhaps even seem to overwhelm ortraumatize their lives.Included among the book's dozens of fictional,difficult-to-cope-with characters are: Two sets of cross-dressing spouses... A350-lb giant with chronic fatigue syndrome... Harry the Heister, who doubles asa panhandling pickpocket and a pickpocketing panhandler... Eddie Rostovitch andhis very serious foot fetish... A horny goat-weed addict... The woman who wantsto stuff her dead husband... The Hindu guru who likes to watch his female clientsbathe... The profoundly deaf ornithologist and his beloved prattle birds... Anassassin who fears his wife more than he fears his pursuers... Reverend Owen J.Underwood, the mysterious and ever-elusive cleric... The world's oldestskipper... The fugitive who sought oblivion in Bolivia... Two Cretins who loathedeach other... AND the blockbuster life of a dynamic, well-educated Hollywoodmovie producer/director.In writing this book, the author sought opportunitiesto purge the make-believe scenarios, pure fantasies, and fleeting images thathave long dwelled in segments of his fully cooked psyche. That's where hisflights of fancy have floated untended and largely ignored for decades. He aimedto create lighthearted, whimsical, and (when it seemed opportune) politicallyincorrect narratives that would afford readers glimpses into the fictionallives of oddball personalities mired in trying circumstances that could becomeoverwhelming. Readers of Twits, Nitwits, and Misfits can readily determinewhether the author realized his goals.