Simplicity Parenting
Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
(Sprache: Englisch)
Today's busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now...
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Today's busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish. Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change:• Streamline your home environment. Reduce the amount of toys, books, and clutter-as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload.
• Establish rhythms and rituals. Discover ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed.
• Schedule a break in the schedule. Establish intervals of calm and connection in your child's daily torrent of constant doing.
• Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your children's "screen time" to limit the endless deluge of information and stimulation.
A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of raising children.
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Chapter OneWhy Simplify?
We are facing an enormous problem in our lives today. It s so big we can hardly see it, and it s right in front of our face, all day, every day. We re all living too big lives, crammed from top to toe with activities, urgencies, and obligations that seem absolute. There s no time to take a breath, no time to look for the source of the problem.
Sarah Susanka, The Not So Big Life
James was about eight years old, and entering third grade, when I met his parents. Lovely and very bright people, James s mother was a professor and his father was involved in city government. They were worried about their son having trouble sleeping at night, and his complaints of stomachaches. An eight-year-old boy is fairly well designed to be a picky eater, but James s pickiness was getting extreme. His stomachaches came and went, but they didn t seem food related.
Both parents spoke proudly of how confidently James could speak with adults, but acknowledged that he had trouble connecting with his peers. He avoided things that he felt might be dangerous, and had only very recently learned to ride a bike. And don t forget the driving thing, his mother mentioned. James s father explained that whenever they drove someplace, James would be the self-appointed policeman in the backseat, letting them know when they were even one or two miles above the speed limit, scanning the road ahead for concerns of any kind. The term backseat driver didn t come close to describing his behavior; you can well imagine how relaxing these road trips were.
As I got to know the family, I noticed how much their daily lives were colored by world issues. Both parents were avid news followers. The television was often on and tuned to CNN, whether they were directly focused on it or not. Politically and intellectually oriented, they would discuss issues at great length, particularly environmental concerns. From an early age, James had been listening to these
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conversations. His parents were proud of his knowledge. They felt that they were raising a little activist, a citizen of the world, who would grow up informed and concerned.
James s understanding of global warming seemed to rival Al Gore s. That much was apparent. James was also, clearly, becoming a very anxious little fellow. His parents and I worked together on a simplification regime. We made some changes in the home environment and greatly increased the sense of rhythm and predictability in their daily life patterns. But our primary focus was on cutting back James s involvement in his parents intellectual lives, and his access to information.
How much information was pouring into the house and into James s awareness? Instead of three computers in the house, his parents decided to keep one, in the den off the master bedroom. After much discussion, they actually removed both televisions from the home. They felt that this might be harder on them than it would be on James, and they wanted to test their theory. If there were to be sacrifices, they wanted to bear their share of them. They also realized that the TVs had become mainly sources of background noise in their home. Would they be missed or not? Game Boys and Xboxes were also removed, minimizing the number of screens throughout the house.
I was most impressed, however, by the commitment they made to change some very ingrained habits. Quite bravely, I thought, they aimed to keep their discussion of politics, their jobs, and their concerns to a time after James went to bed. This was hard to do at first, and they had to remind each other frequently to refrain from talking about these things while James was still awake. But the change became second nature. The quality of their nightly talks intensified, and both parents came to
James s understanding of global warming seemed to rival Al Gore s. That much was apparent. James was also, clearly, becoming a very anxious little fellow. His parents and I worked together on a simplification regime. We made some changes in the home environment and greatly increased the sense of rhythm and predictability in their daily life patterns. But our primary focus was on cutting back James s involvement in his parents intellectual lives, and his access to information.
How much information was pouring into the house and into James s awareness? Instead of three computers in the house, his parents decided to keep one, in the den off the master bedroom. After much discussion, they actually removed both televisions from the home. They felt that this might be harder on them than it would be on James, and they wanted to test their theory. If there were to be sacrifices, they wanted to bear their share of them. They also realized that the TVs had become mainly sources of background noise in their home. Would they be missed or not? Game Boys and Xboxes were also removed, minimizing the number of screens throughout the house.
I was most impressed, however, by the commitment they made to change some very ingrained habits. Quite bravely, I thought, they aimed to keep their discussion of politics, their jobs, and their concerns to a time after James went to bed. This was hard to do at first, and they had to remind each other frequently to refrain from talking about these things while James was still awake. But the change became second nature. The quality of their nightly talks intensified, and both parents came to
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Autoren-Porträt von Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
A consultant and trainer to more than sixty U.S. independent and public schools, Kim John Payne, M.Ed., has been a school counselor for eighteen years and a private family counselor-therapist for fifteen. Payne has worked extensively with the North American and U.K. Waldorf movements. He is currently project director of the Waldorf Collaborative Counseling Program at Antioch University New England, the director of a large research program on a drug-free approach to attention priority issues disorders, and a Partner of the Alliance for Childhood in Washington, D.C. He lives with his wife and two children in Harlemville, New York.Lisa M. Ross has been involved with books for more than twenty years, as an editor and literary agent, and now exclusively as a writer. She lives with her husband and two children in Stuyvesant, New York.
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autoren: Kim John Payne , Lisa M. Ross
- 2010, 400 Seiten, Maße: 12,8 x 20,3 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Ballantine Books
- ISBN-10: 0345507983
- ISBN-13: 9780345507983
- Erscheinungsdatum: 07.02.2020
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
Brilliant, wise, informative, innovative, entertaining, and urgently needed, this timely book is a godsend for all who love children, and for children themselves. It provides a doable plan for providing the kind of childhood kids desperately need today! Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of The Childhood Roots of Adult HappinessA wealth of practical ideas for reclaiming childhood and establishing family harmony. Publishers Weekly
Brilliant. Grand Rapids Press
[Payne is] like a master closet reorganizer for the soul. Time
This book is a wake-call for all of us who have misjudged what children need and can handle, and who have wandered so far from the best practices that we are raising neurologically damaged and emotionally stunted human beings as a result. Simplicity Parenting arises from dialogues with real people, from their questions and their needs. Kim John Payne is sharp, funny, and wise, and best of all he has something shattering but positive to say to an America that is struggling to know how to live. Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children
If you are raising children in these anxious times, you need this book. It will inspire you, reassure you, and, most important of all, it will remind you that less is more, that simplicity trumps complication, that rhythm and routine bring peace to the soul. In this profound and practical guide, Kim John Payne offers parents a doable, step-by-step approach to simplifying everyday family life, from the toy box to the dinner table. In the process, he reveals to us the rewards to be found in slowing down, savoring our children s childhoods, and more fully enjoying our own adult lives. Katrina Kenison, author of The Gift of an Ordinary Day
Simplicity Parenting takes the unusual and unusually wise stance that sometimes less can be more. Less as in less frenetic activity, less racing around, less clutter. Payne provides
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practical strategies for turning down the volume and creating a pace that fosters calmness, mindfulness, reflection, and individuality in children. Simplicity Parenting should be on every parent s (indeed, every person s) reading list. Kathleen A. Brehony, Ph.D., author of Awakening at Midlife
Kim John Payne helps parents better understand one of the most challenging issues of our time the hurried, materialistic, competitive, highly pressured nature of today s childhood. After reading Simplicity Parenting, parents new mantra will be less builds security, sanity, and connection. And they will have the tools they need for implementing this mantra in their families. Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., co-author of So Sexy So Soon
Kim John Payne helps parents better understand one of the most challenging issues of our time the hurried, materialistic, competitive, highly pressured nature of today s childhood. After reading Simplicity Parenting, parents new mantra will be less builds security, sanity, and connection. And they will have the tools they need for implementing this mantra in their families. Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., co-author of So Sexy So Soon
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