Text Me When You Get Home

mother, she thought of friendships as an indulgence. They were nice, but not essential. What she was responsible for was taking care of her family, so she restrained herself from being interested in anything that would get in the way of that.

This was the contemporary view of how to live, at least if you were white and in the professional class, according to Judith E. Smith, a professor of American Studies at the University of Massachusetts Boston. "Heterosexual romance and the focus on the heterosexual couple is one of the hallmarks of being modern," she says. Men and women who had once looked for support from their friendships and extended families, even after they were married, now turned inward toward each other. My parents, who are white and upper-middle class, did exactly this. They believed the family unit superseded other relationships, and my early thinking that female friendships were superfluous came directly from their example and that of other families like ours in my hometown.

Some women, though, have always moved through the world together. In the mid-twentieth century, the professional class focused on their immediate families, but poorer, working-class women, who were white and non-white, continued to depend on larger networks, including relatives and female friends. They leaned on each other for help with childcare and finding jobs, and for companionship needs not met by sexual relationships. "People who were living from hand to mouth totally needed those additional relationships," Smith says.

At least in part because they couldn't afford not to, these women raised their friendships to the same level as other relationships in their lives.

on a weeknight to see your friend already seated and ordering your drink. Jia Tolentino, staff writer at The New Yorker

Schaefer certainly puts friends first in Text Me When You Get Home, a love letter to the power of female friendships in a world that would rather believe women are catty. From the friendship stories of everyday women to the evolution of cultural representation of women s friendships, this uplifting book celebrates the friends who can be just as important (or more so) than our romantic partners. Parade.com

Illuminating and uplifting Text Me When You Get Home will remind you of what a good friendship is supposed to look like, and inspire you to nurture your relationships with the strong women around you. Bustle 

A hopeful celebration of women's friendships. Kirkus Reviews
 
The title speaks for itself: I constantly say those exact words to my friends when we part ways or to my sister when she goes out for a run alone...Schaefer s work is a great addition to this trend (and your bookshelf).   Outside Magazine 

Schaefer creates a beautiful portrait of how modern female friendship has evolved to be a positive force that is making women stronger than ever....She artfully explains how the intense bond we experience as friends carries us through many different eras of our lives and dispels the idea that female friends are less important than romantic relationships, family, or careers....You will find something in this book that will make you want to text your own person and tell her how much she means to you. Buzzfeed, Favorite Books of 2018

Text me when you get home. Those six words aren't just about getting home safely at the end of the night they're really a story about how special and fierce friendships are between women. NPR's Book Concierge 

[Schaefer s] book about the incredible, complicated bonds of female friendship is relatable, familiar, and subverts the false notion that women are predisposed to hating each other. Mental Floss

This is a really good summer read to make you appreciate your friends. So just pick up a copy and you can finish it at the pool in like, a day. Just try not to cry in public. The Betches

Text Me When You Get Home offers a new sociological perspective as well as a celebration of female friendships today. PopSugar

I went to an all-girls boarding school, so I thought I had a PhD in female friendship, but Text Me When You Get Home put me in my place. Town & Country, Editor's Pick

I was deeply moved by this book. I cried and I laughed. I recognized myself in it. I felt raised up and also challenged. It felt like a delicious, long overdue conversation with a best friend I didn t know I had. I will be giving this book to all my girlfriends. Lennon Parham, creator, writer and star of Best Friends Forever and Playing House
 
Warning: this absolutely delightful and insightful book on the immense power of female friendship will make you book a trip to visit your college best friend immediately. You might even buy Beyoncé tickets. It s that good. Jessica St. Clair, creator, writer and star of Best Friends Forever and Playing House

Here s a book to devour in two sittings....Readers of all generations will enjoy her engaging writing and may see their own friendships reflected in her stories. Booklist

Part social history, part personal narrative, Text Me When You Get Home is a Valentine to female friendship. ShelfAwareness

A refreshing read that really gets at the heart of why portrayals on Insecure, Broad City, and everything in-between so greatly resonate. Bitch Media

This in-depth look into the evolution of female friendship is one all women will benefit from this year. Working Mother