Vintage Contemporaries / Company
(Sprache: Englisch)
Stephen Jones is a shiny new hire at Zephyr Holdings. From the outside, Zephyr is just another bland corporate monolith, but behind its glass doors business is far from usual: the beautiful receptionist is paid twice as much as anybody else to do nothing,...
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Stephen Jones is a shiny new hire at Zephyr Holdings. From the outside, Zephyr is just another bland corporate monolith, but behind its glass doors business is far from usual: the beautiful receptionist is paid twice as much as anybody else to do nothing, the sales reps use self help books as manuals, no one has seen the CEO, no one knows exactly what they are selling, and missing donuts are the cause of office intrigue. While Jones originally wanted to climb the corporate ladder, he now finds himself descending deeper into the irrational rationality of company policy. What he finds is hilarious, shocking, and utterly telling.
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Q3/2: AUGUSTMonday morning and there's one less donut than there should be.
Keen observers note the reduced mass straightaway but stay silent, because saying, "Hey, is that only seven donuts?" would betray their donut experience. It's not great for your career to be known as the person who can spot the difference between seven and eight donuts at a glance. Everyone studiously avoids mentioning the missing donut until Roger turns up and sees the empty plate.
Roger says, "Where's my donut?"
Elizabeth dabs at her mouth with a piece of paper towel. "I only took one." Roger looks at her. "What?"
"That's a defensive response. I asked where my donut was. You tell me how many you took. What does that say?"
"It says I took one donut," Elizabeth says, rattled.
"But I didn't ask how many donuts you took. Naturally I would assume you took one. But by taking the trouble to articulate that assumption, you imply, deliberately or otherwise, that it's debatable."
Elizabeth puts her hands on her hips. Elizabeth has shoulder-length brown hair that looks as if it has been cut with a straight razor and a mouth that could have done the cutting. Elizabeth is smart, ruthless, and emotionally damaged; that is, she is a sales representative. If Elizabeth's brain was a person, it would have scars, tattoos, and be missing one eye. If you saw it coming, you would cross the street. "Do you want to ask me a question, Roger? Do you want to ask if I took your donut?"
Roger shrugs and begins filling his coffee cup. "I don't care about a missing donut. I just wonder why someone felt the need to take two."
"I don't think anyone took two. Catering must have shorted us."
"That's right," Holly says.
Roger looks at her. Holly is a sales assistant, so has no right to speak up at this point. Freddy, also a sales assistant, is wisely keeping his mouth shut. But then, Freddy is halfway through his own donut and has a mouthful. He is postponing swallowing because he's
... mehr
afraid he'll make an embarrassing gulping noise.
Holly wilts under Roger's stare. Elizabeth says, "Roger, we saw Catering put them out. We were standing right here."
"Oh," Roger says. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were staking out the donuts."
"We weren't staking them out. We just happened to be here."
"Look, it doesn't bother me one way or the other." Roger picks up a sachet of sugar and shakes it as if it's in need of discipline: wap-wap-wap-wap. "I just find it interesting that donuts are so important to some people that they stand around waiting for them. I didn't know donuts were the reason we show up here every day. I'm sorry, I thought the idea was to improve shareholder value."
Elizabeth says, "Roger, how about you talk to Catering before you start making accusations. All right?" She walks off. Holly trails her like a remora.
Roger watches her go, amused. "Trust Elizabeth to get upset over a donut."
Freddy swallows. "Yeah," he says.
The Zephyr Holdings building sits nestled among the skyscrapers of Seattle's Madison Street like a big, gray brick. It is bereft of distinguishing features. You could argue that it has a certain neutral, understated charm, but only if you are willing to apply the same logic to prisons and 1970s Volvos. It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have windows, and not fall over.
Perched at the top is the word ZEPHYR and the corporate logo, which is an orange-and-black polygon of foggy intent. Orange and black crops up a lot at Zephyr Holdings; you can't walk down a corridor, visit the bathroom, or catch an elevator without being reminded
Holly wilts under Roger's stare. Elizabeth says, "Roger, we saw Catering put them out. We were standing right here."
"Oh," Roger says. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were staking out the donuts."
"We weren't staking them out. We just happened to be here."
"Look, it doesn't bother me one way or the other." Roger picks up a sachet of sugar and shakes it as if it's in need of discipline: wap-wap-wap-wap. "I just find it interesting that donuts are so important to some people that they stand around waiting for them. I didn't know donuts were the reason we show up here every day. I'm sorry, I thought the idea was to improve shareholder value."
Elizabeth says, "Roger, how about you talk to Catering before you start making accusations. All right?" She walks off. Holly trails her like a remora.
Roger watches her go, amused. "Trust Elizabeth to get upset over a donut."
Freddy swallows. "Yeah," he says.
The Zephyr Holdings building sits nestled among the skyscrapers of Seattle's Madison Street like a big, gray brick. It is bereft of distinguishing features. You could argue that it has a certain neutral, understated charm, but only if you are willing to apply the same logic to prisons and 1970s Volvos. It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have windows, and not fall over.
Perched at the top is the word ZEPHYR and the corporate logo, which is an orange-and-black polygon of foggy intent. Orange and black crops up a lot at Zephyr Holdings; you can't walk down a corridor, visit the bathroom, or catch an elevator without being reminded
... weniger
Autoren-Porträt von Max Barry
Max Barry began removing parts at an early age. In 1999, he successfully excised a steady job at tech giant HP in order to upgrade to the more compatible alternative of manufacturing fiction. While producing three novels, he developed the online nation simulation game NationStates, as well as contributing to various open source software projects and developing religious views on operating systems. He did not leave the house much. For Machine Man, Max wrote a website to deliver pages of fiction to readers via email and RSS. He lives in Melbourne, Australia, with his wife and two daughters, and is 38 years old. He uses vi.
Bibliographische Angaben
- Autor: Max Barry
- 2007, 352 Seiten, mit Abbildungen, Maße: 20,32 cm, Kartoniert (TB), Englisch
- Verlag: Penguin Random House
- ISBN-10: 1400079373
- ISBN-13: 9781400079377
Sprache:
Englisch
Pressezitat
Laugh-out-loud funny. . . . Superbly observed. The Washington Post Hilarious. . . . Barry underscores his credentials as both satirist and saboteur. . . . Company is Mr. Barry's breakout book. The New York Times Establishes Barry as one of the keenest and shrewdest minds in corporate satire... utterly original... A-. Entertainment Weekly Biting, hilarious. . . . For anyone who considers corporate life insane. People
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